Blame It On The Loudmouth Gene

So I've Been Told It's Been A Year Since I Blogged . . .

2011-06-29T22:18:00.003-04:00

I figured the two people that cared, wouldn't.

However, since several people have mentioned it in the last month, I thought it would be a fun experiment to post and see if anyone notices.

Yeah, no one will.

Maybe my mom.

Nah, she quit reading it before I quit last year. Just kidding, Mom. Sort of.

Year in review:

Little One definitely found her new friend. They sit in the other room watching reruns of Psych and Lost as I type. They've been in that room for 3 days straight now. I'm too lazy and too tired to get them out of there. With the rest of the family in Uruguay, I'm really into letting them do what they want. It is summer time: when kids do what they want and a dip in the pool counts as a bath.

Middle One has a girlfriend and is turning out to be one heck of a goalie. Soccer got a little dramatic this past year, but hey. Kids' sports. Wouldn't be fun without a coach screwing over a kid, right?

Tor has done incredible her first two years of college. Yes, I have a Junior in college. Shut up. I don't want to talk about it.

Hubby is on a trip with 19 people to Uruguay. Ah, the glamourous life of a youth minister. Sitting in airports for 3 days waiting out volcanoes. And he coulda been a pro football player! Bah. Who needs money when there's all this glitz?

And I'm a lactation consultant for WIC. Mark that as job, um, last count, 36 for me! One day I'll know what I want to be when I grow up. I think it will involve writing, but again, why go for the fame and fortune of publication when I can counsel women about their boobs? Oh, the glory!

Need I say more? Really?

A Little Too Late To Help

2010-06-25T17:11:00.002-04:00

On a blog focused on teen girls, a mom recently wrote an open letter to the parents of Miley Cyrus. The only way you don't know about Miley/Hannah Montana is if you are not the parent of a girl under the age of 13 or if you live under a rock completely cut off from any sort of civilization, which means you're not reading anything on the web - including this blogpost.

We've all heard of Miley. And she recently made a sexed up, poorly executed, somewhat B video that has moms up in arms. Sweet little Hannah portrayed as a sex kitten - er, caged up as some sort of rare creature - is quite disconcerting. Great moment for moms trying to teach their little ones they don't have to be sexed up to get attention.

But I digress. What I really mean to say is that while I understand the frustration of the woman writing the open letter to Miley's parents - didn't we all want to pull them to the side and say, "Why in the heck do you want your daughter to do such crappy work?" - the real point is that it is too late to be giving advice to Billy Ray and Tish.

Miley will be 18 this year. At that point, a parent has done the parenting. You can't give your child your morals when they are 18. They should have been instilled already and by that time you're standing back, watching your child, hoping that what you've taught them has made a difference in who they are. You cannot force them to be what you want them to be. They are who they are.

Parenting teenagers happens when they are toddlers - actually, psychologists say their personalities are formed by age FIVE. Parenting teenagers starts the very first time your child smarts off to you. The very first time they make a bad choice. The very first time they want their way over your way. Parenting teenagers cannot wait until you have teenagers.

The hard work starts when they come out and by the time you've reached 18 if you're still trying to force them to mimic your morality . . . you're screwed. And this doesn't necessarily mean you've done a piss-poor job of parenting. Maybe you've done all you could and your child is an individual and for some reason - their personality and experiences - they've turned into someone very different than you hoped they would be.

Or maybe you've done a piss-poor job of parenting and it's just a little late to mold them into something different than you've already created. If you're first trying to instill morals into your child when they're developing tits and zits then YOU ARE TOO LATE. And odds are, by this point they're not seeing those same morals lived out in your own life so you're adding hypocrisy into the mix. If you haven't been living the very morals you're trying to teach then give up. It won't work. Why try anyway? Why are you trying to convince them to live morals you haven't been living their whole lives?

Maybe Billy Ray and Tish have done a good job of parenting and Miley has just grown up to be an attention-craving, money hungry, unprincipled little sex tramp. In that case, piling on their heartache with an open letter is just adding pain to an already miserable set of parents.

Or maybe this is exactly who they've groomed Miley to be. In that case, they really don't care whether we agree with the moral choices their child is making. Maybe they just used their child as another form of income and whatever she does that keeps her in the spotlight keeps their bottom-line in the black.

All I know is the 10 year old and the 18 year old that live in my house find Miley's new video pitiful, disgusting, laughable and pathetic.

So my parenting seems to be right on track.

Seriously??????

2010-06-24T22:27:00.001-04:00

Perhaps this is why every single person in America should not vote . . .

God help us. Seriously.

If I Waited Til April 26th . . .

2010-04-20T14:09:00.005-04:00

then it would be officially 3 months since I blogged. That seems like a nice round number but since I'm here I guess I'll finish.

Fast update on life:

I just got back from Grand Rapids, Michigan where I attended Calvin's Festival of Faith and Writing. There were plenty of great fiction writers, deep thinkers, poets and essayists there. Great conversations swirled all around me about a great many things. I, of course, know this because I was eavesdropping, but that's not why I had a blast.

I hung out with some really AWESOME folks. Old friends and new ones. I laughed until my stomach hurt and listened to some great writers. Needless to say, my to-read list is extremely long. Truthfully, I won't be able to afford them.

I'll probably buy them anyway.

The kids both had tournaments so Hubby was on dad duty overdrive. Middle One has been moved to a team that has officially made it to the top 16 in Florida. Cuz, ya know, we wouldn't want soccer season to be over. Drag it out as long as possible.

Little One will finish up in a couple of weeks and it won't be soon enough. Mean girls abide all over the place down here. Can't wait to see the door hit them . . . ya know.

All in all, part of the reason for lack of blogability is that life is same ol' same ol' around here. Soccer, volleyball, church, school and well, weight gain.

Ah, I'll come up with something brave and brilliant tomorrow.

It's almost time for LOST.

But I'm back.

This Is Why I Read Imonk . . .

2010-01-26T22:45:00.003-05:00

I'm just posting one of his old posts because I don't believe I could possibly say it any better. I love his blog. Open. Honest. He's just trying to look like Christ. He's got cancer and isn't writing his own stuff right now, he has a guest blogger. But every couple of days the guest blogger pulls up an old piece of Imonk's and this is why I keep going back:

I don’t like the fact that I can give a really good talk on prayer when I rarely pray.

I don’t like it that I can read Matthew 5:23-24 and, as far as I can recall, never take a single step toward obeying it.

I don’t like that I can sin and then condemn someone else’s sin in almost the same breath.

I don’t like it that I’m convinced people need to understand me, but I take so little time to understand others.

I regret that I’ve spent so much of my life seeking to make myself happy in ways that never led to real happiness at all.

I don’t like it that I’ve accumulated so much stuff I don’t need, and I’m so reluctant to give it away.

It causes me real sorrow that I’ve said “I love you” far to little in my life, especially to the people I love the most.

I don’t like the fact that some of my students think I’m a hero, when I’ve done nothing more than be an unprofitable servant.

I hate the difference between what I know and what I do.

I hate the fact that I can use words like “radical” describing what others should do in following Jesus when I’m the first one to want to play it safe.

I don’t like that part of me that thinks everyone should listen to what I say.

I wish I could see myself as God sees me, both in my sinfulness and in the Gospel of Jesus.

I regret using so little of my life’s time, energy and resources for worship and communion with God.

I despise that part of me that always finds fault, and uses that knowledge to put myself above others.

I am embarrassed by the words I use that come so easily from the tongue but have little root in the heart.

I regret taking so few risks in the cause of living a God-filled life.

I despise the shallowness of my repentance for sin that has caused hurt and pain for others.

I don’t like that part of me that can make up an excuse, even lie, almost endlessly in the cause of avoiding the truth and its consequences.

I don’t like that I can talk of heaven in a sermon or at a funeral, but very little of me wants to go there.

I regret that I have loved my arrogant self far than I’ve loved my self humbled in Christ.

I regret that so much good advice, good teaching and good example was wasted on me.

But I am glad for the endless mercies of the Lord, and the amazing fact that those mercies extend to me, today and every day.

I am glad that Christ my substitute took this sorry life, pathetic obedience and lethargic worship and exchanged it for his perfect righteousness.

I am glad that the Holy Spirit is remaking and raising dead men- even at age 52.

I am glad that one day I will look at all these failures and regrets and they will have been transformed into the very glory of Jesus Christ himself.

I am glad that God has cast the very things I most dislike about myself into the depths of the sea and has removed them as far as the east is from the west.

I am glad that when I return in shame and embarrassment, my Father meets me running, covers me with his gladness and throws me a party in the presence of the naysayers and pharisees.

I am glad that Jesus takes these things I loathe about myself and says “It is finished. Come you good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord. Today you will be with me in paradise.”

I am glad Jesus says “Before I have called you servant, but now I will call you friend.”

I am glad Jesus says “Who condemns you? There is now no condemnation because you are in me and I am in you. If I am for you, who can be against you? Go, and sin no more.”

I know, I know . . .

2010-01-14T22:34:00.003-05:00

I'm never updating this thing anymore.

I'm lonely and boring and have nothing to say.

But a little pressure from a couple of people will lead to this update:

Middle One is soccer, soccer, soccer . . . as usual. Only now I have a travel team AND high school soccer running simultaneously. So much fun that way.

Little One is missing friends. Cried herself to sleep this evening. Please help me pray up a GOOD friend. Not a BEST friend, as I've been told, because her best friends are in Gainesville and no one can ever be best friends like they are.

Tor is at school again. We miss her like crazy. Of course you would know that yourself if she EVER came on and blogged herself. Of course, at this particular moment I'm not really one to talk.

I really want to be good about posting. I have a feeling one day I'm going to look back on my life and wish I'd recorded a few more moments here. I already wished I'd been blogging when the kids were little so I could've saved moments from back then.

Of course there wasn't really ubiquitous blogging back in the Stone Ages.

As for me, I've submitted another story so keep your fingers crossed. Also, I'm still swimming and getting my butt kicked by old people.

And not losing weight while I'm doing it.

Yeah, me.

Book Review: Stephanie Plum novels 1-14 by Janet Evanovich

2009-12-21T22:59:00.004-05:00

Figured I may as well throw them all in one post.

These books ARE the reason I haven't blogged in a month. Well, not the only reason, but a large part of the reason.

Can't be the whole reason, cuz I haven't blogged in a month and it only took me 3 weeks to read all the books. However, I have had to do other things like feed my children, clean the house and play the piano. I tried to fit all that in with my reading. And I did some of it.

I really like these books although I have to say up front, the reason I can fit them all in one blog post is because they're all basically the same book.

Heroine must find bad guy, heroine gets into crazy high jinx with her bff, heroine wants Ranger, heroine wants Morelli, gets kidnapped, gets rescued, captures bad guy, still wants Ranger and Morelli.

But no one cares if the books are all the same cuz they're just so darn funny. There really is nothing funnier than the characters in these books and each book intros some new freaky figure to laugh at. So this is why I will keep reading them. Just to see what crazy little Stephanie drags up next.

Laugh out loud funny. Really, how many other books are you gonna get to read out loud to your husband a scene where a penis gets delivered in a box to the dinner table and the Grandmother can't wait to take a look?

And now I can't wait for them to make a movie. And I will dedicate the rest of this post to picking the characters:

Stephanie Plum must be Sandra Bullock. There is no debating this.

Lola is a toss up between Queen Latifa and that black lady that does the PineSol commercials.

Connie should be Marissa Tomei, although she might be a little young. But if you saw her in My Cousin Vinny, you know she's the one to pull it off.

Vincent Plum could be Danny Aiello. He's Italian and looks like he could pull off slimy.

Mary Lou should be the sweet girl from the movie Miss Congeniality, you know the one that says her idea of an ideal date is April 25.

Grandma Mazur is a toughie. Most people are gonna want to pick someone like the oldest lady from the Golden Girls but I tend to go with someone like, oh what's her name, the lady with the obnoxious mouth and her and her daughter do fashion critiques on the runway? Joan Rivers.

Her parents can be the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond and the mom from My Greek Wedding. Don't know their names.

Her sister Valerie could be Monica Bellucci. I feel like she could pull off the sweet girl goes crazy thing.

The Mooner will have to be Napolean Dynamite. Whatever his name is. Without a doubt.

Sally Sweet should be the guy that played Shaggy in live action Scooby Doo. Perfect.

Of course I'm leaving Morelli and Ranger til last cuz I just don't know. I'm going to have to do a google search for hottest guys in the universe to decide. I guess I'm just gonna have to wait and see who they pick, but I keep thinking of that guy from the show in the early 2000's, Third Watch, his name is Bobby Cannavale, for Morelli (I'll feature his pic for this post so you can look at him and then agree with me). Google him. Pretty hot. I think he'd do. Or someone a WHOLE lot like him, anyway. And a lot of people say The Rock for Ranger, but I don't know. Maybe. He's the best suggestion I've seen so far.

Hope they really make a movie, as I'm going to the midnight showing of it if they do. Anyone else wanna go??

Watch This. Un-freaking-believable!

2009-11-06T17:22:00.005-05:00

If someone did any of those things to my kid and the ref just let it pass without a word, there would be one mad momma on the field.

Why on earth should she EVER be allowed to play the game of soccer again??? I am just simply stunned.

My Sweet Baby Gets A Gold Star

2009-11-02T13:52:00.003-05:00

So, for those of you that have been paying attention, Little One is having a small girl problem at school.

Not to worry. She can handle it.

How do I know this?

Exhibit A. Friday.

During lunch, in their classroom, when she got finished eating she told the girls at her table she was going to go sit with a little boy that was sitting all by himself.

One of the girls said, "Why? Nobody likes him, he's irritating."

Little One said, "But he's all alone. He looks sad."

The ~~brat~~ other little girl said, "So. Why does that matter to you?"

Little One said, "Because I have a heart."

Then she picked up her stuff and went over and sat with the lonely little boy.

I don't know WHERE she gets all that spunk.

Silver Lining

2009-10-29T15:03:00.002-04:00

So basically, Best Friend and I are the proverbial college students. AKA trying really hard to not use money. Last night we got a biiig craving for food. Any type of food. But what are we supposed to do when we want to save money?? Want to budget?? Oh, I know.

USE GIFT CARDS!

And what better for a late snack than Moes?? Because you know that's the majority of what we got for graduation.

We weren't sure how much money we had on the cards so we were very smart- we didn't order drinks even. We were going to keep it on the cheap side. Perfect scenario right?

Weelllll not so much when the Moes gift card swipe thing was broken!! Which of course they did not let us know until we got to the end of the line ready to pay. The terrible words, "Oh we can't take those [gift cards]" came out of the cashier's mouth. Our faces dropped. How could they do that to us?!

We were forced to pay.

However, the cashier did feel our pain. So what came from this catastrophe? Oh, that's right- free drinks and $5 off our next Moes purchase. Woo Hoo!!!!

Soo we still have gift cards, extra money, and a free drink.

Not too bad :)

Mean Girls

2009-10-27T22:23:00.002-04:00

Any advice on how to help Little One deal with snotty little nine year olds??

Evidently there are an abundance of them in her class.

I mean, not that long ago a girl sat on the playground and cried because these girls told her she was too ugly to play with them.

Wow.

Tor never really dealt with that. Not that extreme. For sure there were little moments here and there where I had to give the "girls are mean" speech. But geez. Where does that kind of mean come from?

Normally I'd try to downplay it even more, but the teacher has even addressed it to the class of girls telling them she wasn't going to have "mean girl cliques" in her class. I got the whole speech from Little One. So even the adult in the class has noticed it enough to talk about it.

And then, spit fire that she is, she wants to stand up for herself. But you know that nine year olds aren't always going to appropriately stand up for themselves without crossing the line to mean themselves so I don't want to let that be her response every time someone's mean. So I told her to only respond when someone's been mean three times in a row in one day. That's so arbitrary I know, but she wanted a guideline.

Just that someone will be mean three times in one day is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S.

So I've given her some words and I've tried to cheer her up when she's down, but I'm running out of ammo here.

Whatcha got for me??????

When Swimming Isn't Swimming

2009-10-21T21:39:00.003-04:00

So I went to the YMCA today. I've been swimming in my buddy's pool for the past, oh probably, two months. Thirty minutes. Twice a week.

No, it hasn't made me lose weight. That would mean my body was in a cooperative mood. It apparently hasn't improved what shape I'm in either.

Anywho, I figured since my friend messaged me that the water was a cool, freaking 70 degrees, I'd find something else to do for swimming.

Here comes the guest pass to the YMCA.

Hop in the water.

Start swimming.

Realize that a lap pool is WAY longer than a backyard pool.

Pant. Sweat.

Swim.

Look at the clock.

What?????? Only 10 minutes has gone by?

You've got to be freaking kidding me.

It was nearly impossible to finish out my 30 minutes - I did, but it totally sucked. PLUS the water was killing my eyes and BURNING my skin. What kind of chemicals are they putting in that water? It wasn't swimming, it was torture.

Then I had to get back on my bicycle in order to get home.

Needless to say, I was a little worn out when I pulled into the driveway.

I don't know why I continue to do these things to myself. I'm not losing weight. I'm not sporting a rock hard body. I bet my inches haven't even changed.

I don't even have a bff to talk to while I do it. *tear*

But I'll keep it up. Maybe it's making my heart really healthy.

Is it too much to ask that my butt get smaller too????

The More I Read And Study . . .

2009-10-14T21:40:00.002-04:00

the more convinced I am that any time we add anything to the gospel, the result is just plain wrong.
I'm so surprised when I peruse the Christian blogosphere at how many people evidently do this. There is a long list of add ons. You are not a "true Christian" if you are not a: Republican, Democrat, Young Earth Creationist, homeschooler, Calvinist, King James only, Pre-tribulation . . . and the list could go on. All over the world of bloggers.
What I can't understand is why it is that so many people are so hard core about these things.
Now I happen to be a very opinionated person. I know, you're surprised, but I am. However, I just cannot make myself believe that my opinions are the only right ones and I'm always open to the idea that I could be . . . wrong.
It might take a LONG time to convince me, but I COULD be. I'm probably not, but I COULD be.
But I will NEVER accuse someone of not being a good Christian because their opinion varies from mine, for heaven's sake (of course, unless it's some required belief for HISTORIC Christianity - even then I won't say they're a BAD Christian, I'll say they don't understand the definition of Christianity).
For instance, why is it that young Earth creationists seem to be so adamant that the Earth was created in 6 literal days and the Earth is only several thousand years old and if you don't believe this you don't really believe the Bible is God's Word? Why does someone's opinion of this make any difference to their belief in the Resurrected and Glorious Jesus or their take on Scripture as God's literal Word? It's quite possible that there are other ways to read the Genesis texts. Why is it they think THEIR way is the only Godly way?
And what's with homeschoolers nowadays?? For Pete's sake, why do they CARE how MY child is educated? Why don't they just stick to worrying about their own kids - many of whom need big help with socialization, btw? Why must I hear their commentary on what poor Christian parenting is happening at my home because I choose to send my kid to the "evil" public schools? Give me a break. You don't know jack squat about my Christian parenting based on where my kids go to school, so back off already.
I'm just so tired of the ridiculous, self righteous attitudes given by the very people that should be the most humble, gracious and full of mercy. What's the deal with that? Have we really gotten so far away from the Truth that we cannot see that Jesus spent His time here blasting the religious people for those attitudes? As far as I can tell, Jesus saved His most vicious words for the high and mighty, hard-headed "godly" people of His time. We might just want to be careful not to be those people during OUR time.
I really do love a good debate. And I think it's fun to "argue" over stuff. That's fun business in my opinion. But until the Christians can get together and decide that there are some things that we're just not all going to agree on, then how in the world do we ever expect anyone else to care what we're saying. We can't even seem to treat each other like Jesus, how do we think that looks to people that don't know Him?
I don't know, the older I get the more I realize that my opinions are SO influenced by my time in history, where I grew up and how I was raised. There's so much to know about the early church, their traditions, their homes and their culture. Until I know all that, how can I possibly think that something I THINK about the Bible is the end all be all answer - 100% - when its so obvious to me that my point in time heavily influences my outlook. I can't even read the Bible with complete understanding without looking at their LANGUAGES. When there's so much left to KNOW, why think my small place in the world KNOWS it ALL?
This is, of course, why I love to study the Bible. So much truth and wisdom in the pages. The more I study, the more I need to study. The more I see my own need to change. To transform into His image. The more I read about Him the more I love HIM. The more I love Him, the more I realize I will never know it all.
And I'm okay with that.

SO I Guess My Family's Wearing A Big Fat Sign . . .

2009-10-12T15:31:00.004-04:00

that says "Steal From Us" since Tor's marvelous first day at college experience and now, my bike has been stolen.

Pretty much had to be someone desperate for a ride because I'm telling you there wasn't nutin' fancy about my wheels. Pretty much a clunker as far as bikes go.

What I don't like, besides the fact that they STOLE from me, is that they came up onto our front porch when we were HOME.

That just seems pretty gutsy to me. Makes me nervous that someone that ~~ballsy~~ bold was up on my porch.

Did they look in the windows? Did they decide they liked my TV?

How'd they know I had a bike way up on my porch?

These are the things I wonder. And it doesn't really help that I have an overactive imagination. I can see the whole thing now. They've been staking out our house, planning to start with the bike and move up from there. Of course, in the story in my head the protagonist pulls out a shot gun and dares them to move.

Most likely, I suppose, it was kids that decided they wanted a bike. However, I did see a guy on a bike that looked suspiciously familiar on my way to the soccer field on Saturday. I was going too fast to get a good look. Little One kept yelling, That was it! Pull over so Dad can beat him up and get your bike back!

Meanwhile, I walked Little One to school this morning and then came home and strapped on the ol' roller blades for exercise.

Hoo-boy. THAT was interesting. Let's just say grace would not be the first thing that came to mind when you saw me.

I tried to stick to back streets in hope that everyone would be at work or gone for the day but alas, I actually saw people.

One guy just looked at me and shook his head and said, Hmmm. I've never tried that before.

I said, Yeah, well I don't really recommend it.

Considering I was rollerblading on asphalt clearly meant for cars and not skates. There were rocks, stones and shells in it sticking up for the sole purpose of getting stuck in my wheels and making me flail my arms around like a windmill caught in a windstorm.

Not my prettiest moment.

Of course, it's not my ugliest moment either so there's always that small consolation.

Meanwhile, rollerblading wastes a TON of calories according to myfitnesspal.com, which is my new favorite friend. So at LEAST I worked off enough to make it worth looking like a complete idiot.

But Mr. Thief shouldn't let that fact make himself feel too comfortable. If I come across him, I still imagine I'll want to try a little kickboxing.

For calorie burning purposes, of course.

Getting A Little Antsy . . .

2009-10-07T22:08:00.002-04:00

because it's gettin' close to time for Tor to come home. As you can see, she's not blogging at this here blogspot very often, so her poor mother is wasting away the time waiting until she comes home so she can have SOME idea of what life is like for her at college.
Oh, if only she would blog. Then we could ALL know how life is going and we could hear all the fun little stories that I'm sure she's collecting, but we wouldn't know cuz she never blogs.
Woe is me.
I can't WAIT til she gets here!

I'm Not A Loser

2009-10-05T18:30:00.005-04:00

If there's anything I'm a pro at in life, it's NOT losing weight. I'm the best NOT loser in the crowd. So this month when I started weighing in with my sister AND signed up to do First Place at church I thought that ought to do it. I'll go from not loser to loser.

Yeah, not so much.

I think my body likes to stick right where it is no matter what I do to it or put in it. I'm exercising like crazy - swimming or biking five days a week - and saying no to sweets (well, usually) and trying to watch the old portion control and eat lots of fruits and veggies.

My body does not care. Last week I lost one pound.

Gee, that's swell. I can fluctuate one pound per week without doing anything.

It's extremely frustrating.

At the beginning of the year, I said I wasn't going to be fat and forty. Then my fortieth birthday came and went and my fat stayed.

SO I guess I am going to officially give up. I'm going to exercise because it's good for me and I'll watch what I eat because I don't want to gain even more weight I can't get rid of. But I give up trying to actually be thin. I just can't keep wishing for it any more. It's too irritating.

I'm just going to try and learn to be happy with myself the way I am and if I make progress then fine, but I'm not going to expect it any more.

Maybe if I can be happy where I am, I'll trick my body into losing weight because it'll think I DON'T want to lose weight. It seems to like doing the exact opposite of what I want.

Book Review: One For The Money, Two For The Dough by Janet Evanovich

2009-10-04T16:11:00.002-04:00

I sat at a volleyball tournament reading this book I pilfered from my mother's stash (sorry, Mom) and was laughing my, ahem, rear end off. The name of the book was Lean, Mean Thirteen. I had had the book for about six months but honestly figured I wouldn't like it that much. I kind of thought it was a romance novel since I ~~stole~~ borrowed it from Mom and romances really are a desperated measure for me. After I've read through every book in the house, including the instruction manual for the universal remote.

Anywho, I'd read all my library books, manuals, spiritual growth non-fictions and anything else I could get. So, on the way out the door, I picked up the book.

I'm so glad I did.

I was laughing so hard people were staring at me. The lady sitting next to me said, Oh. You have book thirteen. I love those books.

What?!?!?! There are more of these treasures?

Uh, yeah, that why it's called Lean, Mean Thirteen. It's the thirteenth book.

So, of course I ran to the used book store and got all the copies of the other books I could get.

These Stephanie Plum novels are HILARIOUS. She's a newbie bounty hunter. It's laugh out loud pee your pants funny stuff.

It's the characters. They are such a scream. The story is fast paced and keeps you turning the pages, but its the characters that keep you in stitches.

For instance, imagine the scene around the dinner table when the bad guy sends Stephanie . . .

Nope. I really don't want to tell you anything except go to the library and check them out. Or buy them. They're worth it.

Besides you can get the whole collection at the used book store for about $3.

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

2009-09-30T22:44:00.003-04:00

So, on the way back from Gainesville today (we didn't have time to stop and see anyone cuz we had to get back ASAP because of work and they had to do the closing on a Wednesday for some odd reason, so no comments about now stopping and seeing anyone, we couldn't) we were in such a rush. First off, we zoomed into town, five minutes late for the closing, and sat at the table and signed over our house to a sweet little young couple with an adorable toddler.

*tear* Hope they love it as much as we did.

Then we ran over to the house to get the last few remnants of junk we probably didn't need to get anyway, but felt like we needed to get because it was ours, and realized there was a set of tables and chairs from the church there, so loaded that up and took it to the church on our way BACK to the closing agent cuz we couldn't get the check the first time.

Then, of course, we picked up something to eat at MOES cuz we're 30 minutes from one here, and hit the road lickety split.

ANYWHO, about an hour into the trip back I'm just about to tell Raul that I'm sorry we're late but I will HAVE to stop for a potty break because after giving birth to three of his monstrous children my bladder just isn't what it used to be, when I notice the traffic stopped in front of us.

WATCH OUT! I ~~scream~~ lovingly chide from the passenger seat.

So, we sit a few minutes. Completely stopped. No moving. None.

And another few minutes.

Finally, I squirm a little and say, wow I really have to go to the bathroom.

And wait. And wait.

More waiting.

Finally, I REALLY have to pee. Like, can't-hold-it-I'm-going-in-my-pants have to GO.

SO I ask, how many cars back is that motorhome?

What motorhome?

The one we passed a second ago.

Why don't you turn around and look?

Because I'm scared if I move my body without promise of a nearby toilet I'll WET MY PANTS.

*he turns* It's four cars back.

I'm using their toilet.

No your not.

I'm so using their toilet.

Why would they let you use their toilet?

Wouldn't YOU let me use your toilet?

If you weren't a creep dude, maybe.

I'm NOT a creepy dude.

Take your cell phone in case THEY are creepy dudes.

*open door, cross legs, waddle 4 cars back*

I realize I am a complete and total stranger but if I don't use your bathroom I'm going to pee my pants. I will love you forever if you let me in to use your toilet.

*laughter, amusement*

Sure, come on in.

Relief.

Thirty more minutes of waiting.

Good thing I used that toilet.

I Just Had A Really Bad Day

2009-09-21T18:41:00.003-04:00

I will get over it, but I just had a crappy day. Just thought I'd drop that little piece of info so that everyone would know.

A New Studying Adventure

2009-09-16T12:45:00.002-04:00

Well, I went to the first informational BSF meeting last night. I've been hearing about it for years from my sister and various friends that have lived in cities where they have it.

A year long study of the book of John.

A (school) year.

That's a long time. But I guess I'm up for it. I do better when I have something specific to study and look at anyway. And I love to study the Bible in depth. I did a verse by verse of the same book for a college bible study when we lived in St. Simon's. It was awesome. It took us half a year just to get through the first chapter. It's a great book.

So, I'm excited. Don't know a single soul there and from the first meeting it's hard to tell what the small groups are like cuz I was held out front for the meeting for all the newbies.

But I've been wanting to try it for the last 7 years.

Be careful what you wish for.

God may move you to another city so you can try a new Bible study.

Where Does My Day Go?

2009-09-13T21:29:00.009-04:00

It has just occurred to me that my kids have been in school for three weeks and I thought so much would be accomplished by now.

But it's not.

I can't figure out what I'm doing with my time.

I bike Little One to school and then I go for a bike ride. That's the only norm in the schedule. I bike for about 40 minutes. I usually get back around 9:15. If I take a shower then my day can officially start around 10.

Then no kids get home until 2:30.

And I feel like I've gotten nothing done. Three weeks. I should be unpacked and organized.

I know what you're thinking.

I'm sitting around eating bon-bons. But only one day out of the three weeks have I sat on my rump. I watched a movie. I couldn't stop myself. It was the first day after swimming 100 laps in my buddy's pool. I kept saying to myself, Okay. I'll get up in 5 minutes. Thirty minutes later I'd say the same thing. I was completely beat. There was just no getting up that day.

But that's just one day, so gimme a break. Swimming was a killer. Who knew it'd wipe me out?

So, other than cleaning, which no one can tell I've done because it's a mess by the time the day's over, I can't figure out where the time has gone.

I know I've cleaned and I know I've practiced piano.

Other than that, I got nothing.

Tell me the whole year won't go by with me realizing I've done nada.

This Blog Today Brought To You By A 75 Year Old Beach Bunny

2009-09-07T18:20:00.005-04:00

You know that Christian series "5 Discussions You Must Have With Your Daughter" or something like that?

Well, today I decided that someone's really gotta write the book "5 Discussions You Must Have With Yourself Cuz Your Kids Are Gonna Feel Awkward Bringing Them Up."

Topic number one has gotta be: when you're 75, you can't be a bleached blonde beach bunny. The look just doesn't work anymore. You really are too old.

And, for the record, I feel bad about that. If someone wants to be sexy for their 95 year old sugar daddy - which she clearly wanted to do - then I really want to say more power to ya.

However, I just can't do it.

While lounging in the water today, I looked up in the distance and saw the bleached blond hair-do on the horizon and the 'GG' bikini boobs bouncing and thought, Oh, boy. The teenage horomones of my 14 year old son are gonna get a show today.

But I needn't have worried about that. Cuz the closer she got, the more I realized, she must've been a retired Vegas showgirl. No problem for the teenaged son. She was the age of his great grandmother.

Literally.

And that brings me to topic number two: You really might want to think twice before you get that breast enhancement that knocks you up to a double G. One day you're going to be a great grandmother and you're gonna want to go to the beach. And apparently, you're still gonna want to wear that string bikini that barely covers said breasts.

As my hubby said, Creepy.

And the struggle here for all ladies everywhere is when do you stop wanting to feel sexy? I'm guessing that's why we all go to the trouble of trying to lose weight, getting our hair done, daily applying makeup that we really don't want to wear and continually updating our wardrobe instead of walking around in our sweats and t-shirts all day.

I actually have a relative that reminds me of this dear beach lady. She thinks she is perpetually stuck at age 25.

She's not. She's in her 60's. Mid 60's. And I've always wondered if there would ever come a day when she wasn't wearing skin tight jeans and a tube top with her bleached hair in a Chrissy - a la 3's Company - little pony tail on the side of her head.

That day hasn't come yet, so this reinforces the idea that we need to have these conversations with ourselves.

And our good friends. We must be willing to tell each other when we are bordering on the you're-too-old-to-pull-that-off-darlin' kind of thing. Kind of like when we had to be willing to tell one another if our kids were the kids no one wanted to be around?

And if you don't have a friend you can be that frank with then by all means get one. Quick.

And all this leads me to ask myself and you: am I too old to wear my hear long anymore? Maybe I need a chic, 40 year old shorter hair cut. Maybe I'M trying to stay younger than I am and maybe it's like a perpetual vortex you can never pull yourself out of cuz you weren't willing to go with short hair when you turned 40?!?

What if? What if not cutting my hair now means that I, too, will one day lurk beach side in a string bikini that barely covers my boobs because I never let myself realize I was actually getting older?

20 Reasons I Love My Hubby Like Crazy After These Long 20 Years

2009-09-01T17:02:00.004-04:00

On this, my 20th anniversary, I thought it appropriate to dedicate some space to my marvy hubby and talk about how great he is. Don't hate me cuz I'm lucky.

In no particular order:

1. He still puts up with me. This is no easy task. I have a feeling plenty of men'd given up on me long ago.

2. When I complain about the fact that I've gained 1 1/2 lbs. for each of these said years, he looks at me and says, You look great. I'm pretty sure he means it. He doesn't notice everything's a little lower than it used to be. Well, he may NOTICE, but he doesn't act like he does.

3. He is an incredible father. This would be number one, if these were in order.

4. When the house isn't spotless, eh hem, he doesn't freak out. He's got a pretty long rope when it comes to mess. He can be fairly messy himself, but he has his limit. And when we reach it (he always reaches it before me, of course), he helps with it instead of yelling at me about it.

5. Completely seperate from the housework issue, the man does laundry.

6. He actually likes to cook. I, on the other hand, cook to keep from being sent to jail for child neglect. When he cooks, he does things like add spices and simmer and finely chop. And it tastes good. It's a nice, handy skill for a husband to have.

7. Speaking of cooking, this reminds me of a completely different kind of heat. Unmentionable, but still deserves to make the list *wink, wink*. (My kids are throwing up a little in their mouths right now. That's an added bonus to mentioning #7.)

8. I love to hear him preach. And I don't have to sit there and cringe because I'm a wife that's sitting in the congregation watching her hubby say stuff he doesn't live. If he says it from the pulpit, it's real because it's who he is. He's in no way perfect, but the gospel of Jesus Christ is transforming him into the kind of man that will one day hear, Well done.

9. He loves his family more than anything in this world. Sometimes this is actually irritating because he'd rather sit at home with the wife and kids than do fun stuff with friends. So I often have to drag him away from home and hearth to remind him to love on other people, too. But at the root of this is an unwavering desire to spend every extra minute with us.

10. He's a magnet for teenagers. This works out good for a youth minister. Plus, I think it keeps him young.

11. He actually thinks I'll be a published novelist one day. This little dreamer quality keeps me pluggin' away. Makes me think it might be true.

12. When we fight, he says he's sorry. Sometimes he even says sorry when it's my fault. Not often, because it's rarely my fault. JUST JOSHIN'.

13. He's always wanted me to be able to stay at home with the kids. Sure, we could've actually had money if I'd gotten a full time job, but he chose our children over cash. We may be financially stupid, but we make up for it in crazy family happiness.

14. I love to watch him at our kids' sporting events. He thinks our kids are the best at everything they do.

15. He's technologically challenged. And can't fix a lot of stuff. It adds humor to our life, plus I have Dad to make up for it :)

16. He cried as hard as I did when we dropped off our baby at college. And let me cry on his shoulder. I don't go through the hard stuff alone.

17. Ditto when we left our bff's and family in Gainesville.

18. He's excited to start life anew here and I know we're going to be just fine even though starting over is a little intimidating. But knowing I'm doing it with him makes it easier. He's my best friend.

19. Is it okay if I mention #7 again?

20. When we're old and gray, sitting on a porch together somewhere reminiscing about our lives, I will have memories of laughter, joy and fun, and I will be surrounded by children that love me and know what it meant to have a father that loved his wife and kids more than anything in the world.

I will look back on my life that was filled with all the things that really matter and I will be happy.

A Small Wild Goose Chase

2009-08-31T17:54:00.005-04:00

The Sunday School class I've been going to - yes, adult SS for the first time in years = a little weird - has been doing a study called Chase the Goose or The Wild Goose or something goosey like that. I don't have a book so I can't look it up, but suffice it to say it is about loosing the Spirit and allowing God to do something adventurous in our lives. The title comes from the idea that evidently the Celtic people called the Holy Spirit the wild goose. I'm going to guess that's where we get the phrase "wild goose chase" but that's an assumption and you know what they say about assumptions . . .
Anywho, the overarching question seems to be - I say seems because I haven't been there the whole study, only a couple of sessions - is church, the way we do church, actually inhibiting believers? Are we less powerful in Christ because we've allowed ourselves to be hemmed in by tradition, rules, emotions or thoughts that are keeping us from going where God wants us to go? And are these things amplified, in many ways, by living the "church" life?
I mean, the obvious answer to this is yes. The churches of today don't look a lot like the church I see living and breathing in the pages of Acts. That's not to say we don't ACT like we've got it all together, but in all honesty, isn't it best to just admit most churches aren't experiencing what was going on in the early church and just get to the analyzing why not?
Now, jump with me to the simulcast of Beth Moore I attended with a couple of awesome ladies, Patty and Melissa, from my marvy new church. Beth - yes, I just called her by her first name cuz we're so close - was talking about Christians losing their "delight in God" (in Beth speak that is, "If joy is a baby's smile, then delight is their belly laugh) and regaining the ability to take extreme pleasure in knowing God, if that is truly our desire. She talked a lot about the connection between our desire and our delighting.
I put these two lessons together in my head and got a mish mosh of stuff. So much of our inability to delight in God stems from the fact that we're not stepping out on the edge with Him. Living life in a way that makes us throw our heads back and toss our arms up in the air and scream. When life's a big, fat adventure with Him, there's plenty of delight, right?
Back to the problem, I suppose. I guess when it gets right down to it, we've let life get in the way of adventure and delight.
How much do we really want it?
There's the dilemma for most of us as Christians. We really do want it. We either don't know how to get it or don't know how to get it back.
I got to thinking, when was the last time I was truly delighted, laugh out loud crazy and amazed at God? And I realized it was the last time I stepped out in adventure with Him. But the adventure wasn't what delighted me. It was the personal, one on one attention I got from Him in the midst of it. And that's the key for me.

What amazed me so was how He cared for me. I was in China - way up in the mountains - and we were hiking for hours at a time. A good friend of mine gave me all the military advice on how to wear my shoes and socks so as not to get blisters, but on the first day out, I forgot. When I got back to the base house, I took off my shoes and my feet were COVERED with blisters. Big, ugly deep ones - I know that's gross, but you need a word picture to get the idea. That night we prayed that I wouldn't be kept from hiking because of it. They were that bad.

Anyway, the next day I got up, stuck on some band-aids and laced up. We got up a couple of hours into the mountains and the missionary we were with asked me how I was doing. I noticed that I was totally fine. I moved my feet up and down and wiggled them all around and said, Wow. I'm totally fine. I think my blisters are gone. So that whole day I marveled that my blisters were gone.

Thing was, they weren't gone at all. They were worse. When I got back to the room that night my socks were covered with blood. The blisters were twice as bad. Still deep and twice as ugly. And for five days every day I got up, stuck on some band-aids and laced up. And every day I swore my blisters were gone and every day they got worse.

I tear up just thinking about it. Because for one whole week it was evident that God cared about me. It was laugh out loud obvious. Of course one could say it would've been better to have had the blisters just disappear, but I don't think so. Every single night I took my shoes off I couldn't believe I had walked and prayed all day long with zero pain. None. Every day I thought "now this time they really are gone" only to find they were there, I just couldn't feel them.

The adventure in China was great, but the belly laugh with God wasn't from the grand adventure, it was from the tangible evidence that every day He was doing something in my life that was inexplicably awesome.
Truth is, I realized while listening to Beth, day to day I struggle with whether or not I matter INDIVIDUALLY to God, which is ridiculous to say out loud. But there you go. Reality is, there's always, somewhere deep inside of me, a little voice that says, It's just you. He'll get around to you later - maybe - after He's dealt with the more important matters of the world, so don't bother Him now.
And all the Bible verses in the world can't gloss over that feeling when it hits. As I sat there listening to all the talk of delighting in God and how He delights in us, I realized that's where I tend to hop off the train.
I'll be the first to tell you He delights in YOU. But my mind wanders when I start thinking He delights in me.
And the truth is, the only way for that idea to get out of your head is for God to show you in a very real and tangible way that He notices you. Then you get all wacky with ideas of how that could happen. If this gets said, well then I'll know He was talking straight to me.
But that's just not how He generally works in my life. I don't know about you. And there's where the "not chasing the goose" thing comes in. When I don't allow myself to consider the idea that He cares about me in particular and not just everyone in the world, then in some small way I am the cause of my own loss of delight in Him because I can't seem to believe He's listening. And when I let go of the idea that God really wants depth of relationship with me - little ol' lazy me - I'm killing the chances of watching that crazy goose fly all over my life.
So I'm starting a new adventure. Waking up every morning and deciding that for today I'll believe He's interested in me. I'm starting there. I'm going to remember the times that I KNEW it was true and I'm going to look for the little ways I should be seeing that every day. That will be the adventure.

I'm going to chase the wild goose and see where He goes.

A Small Oddity

2009-08-28T16:15:00.004-04:00

So guess what came in the mail today in a plain white, unmarked envelope?

Oh, Tor's stolen license.

What's up with that?

Don't guess we'll be getting all that cash back in a plain little envelope, huh?

False Advertising

2009-08-28T14:53:00.002-04:00

Just want to state for the record that we were told - as a little enticement for moving - it NEVER rains here in paradise :)

Yeah. It's rained every day since we've gotten here.

Literally.

My Jeep needs to be drained and I'm a little tired of sloshing every time I sit in it.

Rain, rain, go away.

I'm just saying.

Wanna Know What I'll Be Doing With My Time?

2009-08-26T22:04:00.002-04:00

Yeah . . . that would be practicing the piano. For a while.

I've officially taken on a little part time job. Playing the piano at church. Which sounds like, hey, great, work 2 days a week.

And that could be true. If I'd played ANY kind of choir music in the last, oh let's just guess, 10 years.

True, I've played the piano. But it's a little different playing for yourself (or your daughter :)) and singing than it is to play that choral music. Boy, howdy. I haven't seen the timings and beats in this music in forever. Not to mention, what is it about composers wanting to write so many songs with 5 flats or sharps???

Soooooo . . . I'll be sitting my butt at the piano for as many hours as it takes to get back in the swing of this stuff.

Which may be a long time. A VERY long time. Which will probably work out hours wise to me making, oh, about 50 cents an hour.

I am SO smart.

Internet . . . Finally!!!!

2009-08-24T17:12:00.002-04:00

Who knew it would take so long to get back online?

And who knew how much I would MISS it?

It's unbelievable how much technology is such a normal part of life now. Communication with the outside world feels like it only exists if you can hook up to the internet.

Ridiculous, really.

So, this is a small list of the things that have happened since I last visited the blogosphere.

1. Took Tor to college. This is, perhaps, the one event in my life that no one adequately prepared me for. Remember dropping them off for kindergarten?

Yeah. This is so much worse.

2. Moved our entire life to a completely different city. (It IS at that beach in the photo, though, so it sure doesn't suck!)

Um, two days after we dropped off Tor for college. (Maybe the timing could've been better. Pretty tough to lose constant contact with your oldest, your bff AND your mother in one foul swoop.) Tor, btw, was robbed her first day there (as I'm sure you've read in HER blog. *tear* I'm so proud). So add to the list all the crappy things one must do to make sure losers that steal things can't steal more.

3. Enrolled the kids in two new schools. That day is for another blog all by itself. Let's just say it involves the parent information center and a room full of parents trying to get their kids in a school they don't belong in. Yes, interesting day in the waiting room.

4. Gone to our new church twice now. Love it.

5. Had a good ol' fashioned pounding at said church. Wow! This is one giving group of people! I can't even express how much we feel grabbed up and hugged at this place. This is a great church!

6. Middle one has already been to 2 parties with new friends. I get no break from teenage social life. You'd think moving to a new place would bring a small amount of home time with the boy, but no. I'm pretending to complain, because it's actually awesome that he's got a group of buds already. He's evidently been nicknamed. Princess Boy.

*'nother tear* I'm so proud.

7. Maybe even have a part time job that won't interfere with my ability to stay home with kids and WRITE. Can't even begin to say how exciting that is!

All in all, that's a fairly small recap. But details are boring.

Easily summed up like this: Can't even begin to express how much I miss my daughter. Words can't fully describe the hole left by not having my bff nearby. And I hate that I took for granted having my mom and dad so close. However, my new life and my new friends are making the transition a little easier and as soon as I sell that house, I'm gettin' myself a computer camera so I can see everyone back home WHENEVER I want. That's what keeps me going right now.

That and the fact that it's only a 2 1/2 hour drive :)

The White Board Saga

2009-08-18T23:18:00.003-04:00

Sooo....there's really not much to do here. Besides two a days and some sketchy cafeteria food, we really have no life. The past two weeks have basically been sports camp. So what do crazy college kids do with their time during preseason??

Well, the best friend and I have a pretty awesome room. I'm not gonna lie. One of the cool things we have is this pink magnetic white board on the outside of our door. It's for notes and things like that and it's been pretty successful! People have left us messages and it's been fun to read. Not to mention best friend and I have made some notes ourselves....

So the other day we were at Target looking for a few random things when we happen to walk by some AWESOME magnets. Of course we got them. The alphabet magnets only like 3 dollars. It was a real snag.

So we set them up in a cool fashion and just waited for something exciting to happen. They would bring entertainment we just knew it.

The first night they're up someone leaves a random number to call. Of course we do. Only we did it on a teammate's phone so it wouldn't be traced to us. She's not so good on the phone and it ended up being a bust so we still don't know who that was.

Next night (tonight) going by just like normal when all of a sudden, on my way back from the bathroom I notice something. Something's missing...but what?

The U.

I look back over our door. Say the alphabet. Something else is missing.

The Q.

Of course. Someone stole the magnets of our school's initials. QU.

Jerks.

So we left a note that said "Give back our Q and U!"

Who knows if it will be successful or not.

All I know is this is not the last of the white board wars.

More to come.

(Knew the magnets were a good idea)

The College Life

2009-08-17T20:01:00.002-04:00

So when most kids go off to college they think, "Yes no curfew!" or "Yes no rules!" blah blah blah just a lot of random things that express their freedom.

Me on the other hand, the only freedom that I'm taking advantage of is the fact that now on our own my best friend and I can watch those annoying trash television shows without mom saying "What is that crap you're watching?!" Every moment of time not spent on the volleyball court or anything team oriented for preseason would be spent in our room relaxing and watching those wonderfully inappropriate shows that you wonder why in the world you're watching it.

Soo that's my college life so far. Volleyball and trash television.

Woo Hoo!! :D

I'm a Grown Up!

2009-08-12T20:08:00.003-04:00

Okay. So, I'm a grown up now. I officially turned 18 and I'm now a full fledged adult (technically). I can do all the things grown ups do. I can vote, I can buy cigarettes, I can buy a lotto ticket, and I just started college this past week. So with all of this grown up stuff I'm allowed to do now, there's one thing I've realized must come along with the grown up life of mine.

Blogging.

I've accepted it and I'm doing it. I'm making a real commitment this time. Mostly to keep my family posted on the things I'm doing up here in North Carolina. So, yeah.

So what's better to start off a blog by talking about my transition into adult hood than talking about my first day at college?? Oh that'd probably be the story of how my purse got stolen. On the first day. Fantastic right?

And yes, that purse had my phone, wallet, sunglasses, candy, a book I had just started and basically just everything. It was great.

To sum up how this awesome ordeal went down, basically I gave a ride to some girls on my team and they didn't lock their doors. The ONE time I (the paranoid always checks the door 3 times) didn't check it was snagged. Like I said, just wonderful.

So needless to say I had a pretty big melt down when I realized that the day I was left on my own was the day everything I needed to get by for the next month was gone. But thankfully I have a great family and they fixed everything. My phone should be here tomorrow, my cards are frozen, license and social security card replaced (because yes my mom had just given me my social security card so I had stuck it in my wallet and about to put it somewhere safe when I got home). Everything's fixed and I can breath easy.

When this happened I had a lot going through my mind. Why me? Why now? What am I suppose to do? And it was really tough not to get really angry. But then I realized why it was me and why now. I'm on my own. Like I said, a grown up! But having this happen to me was a big sign to something I already know.

I have an awesome family.

Instead of focusing on the negative of how everything was gone, I was able to reflect and realize what was really going on. No matter what my family was going to be there for me to help me out of the worst. I really love them and even though I'm 9 1/2 hours away physically, we're still together because we're a family.

Love you guys :)

Fifteen Books

2009-07-29T22:38:00.003-04:00

Got this over at Thinklings and couldn't resist doing it myself. It is, after all, a chance to talk about books.

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.

Okay, the Bible is an obvious choice but I don't want it to take up a space, but I think it goes without saying that it has had the most impact on my life.

1. It - Stephen King. First book I ever read that engrossed me in the story so quickly that I remember specifically looking up to see what page I was on. I was on page 13. Couldn't put it down.

2. From The Corner Of His Eye - Dean Koontz. Loved the mixture of science and fiction. Loved the way the spiritual was woven in the story line.

3. Peace Like A River - Leif Enger. Simply put, one of the most beautiful stories I've read. The characters feel like family, the prose is unbelievable and the minute I returned it to the library I went straight to the book store and bought it.

4. The Hobbit - Tolkien. Cemented my love of reading at an early age.

5. The Gunslinger series - Stephen King. Yes, the whole series. The only thing I hate about it is when I finished reading it, I shut the book and thought, Crap, I will never write that great a story. Why bother? I got over that, but still. That was the overwhelming feeling after reading it. The story is SO FREAKING good and creative and just awesome. Really, read it. All of it.

6. The Little Friend - can't remember author's name. This one sticks with me for a totally different reason. The writing in this book is incredible and the characters are still in my head talking out loud (don't tell anyone), however the reason for the impact is negative. The book, all 900+ pages, is about a little girl finding out who killed her brother and the author never tells. Really irritating.

7. Mere Christianity - CS Lewis. Great for anyone who cares about why they believe.

8. Returning To Your First Love - Tony Evans. Frankly, this one is on the list because it's an easy to read spiritual book that reminds you why the Christian life is all about Jesus.

9. Harry Potter - Rowlings. Love these books. When an author creates an imaginary world and you finish the books thinking, Wow, I actually thought that was real for a minute, then clearly the writing is great and the story has impact.

10. The Misty series - no idea who wrote them. I read these when I was little and just loved that little horse. Again, began my love of reading.

11. The Red Tent - forget name. Great story. Not getting my theology from it, but it's a great story with spectacular research and interesting pov on Old Testament stories.

12. Saving Grace (I think that's the name of it) - Jodi Piccoult. She's a fairly heavy writer, so most of her books are a bit of a downer. This one though, wove an interesting story together with faith issues seamlessly. Again, not getting theology from it. It's fiction.

13. Frankenstein - Dean Koontz. Not the original. This is when I first realized great stories give birth to great stories. Can't wait to read the third in the series. Which I will be doing soon as my husband got me a gift card to BooksAMillion for my birthday.

14. On Writing - Stephen King. One of the best books on writing I've ever read.

15. Last on the list is a book called something like Angelroad or Angel something like that by someone named Roger something I think. The reason it's on the list is because I hated it. I picked it up because long ago I thought it would be nice to support Christian writers and the story line seemed interesting. Well, suffice it to say, Christian writing has come a long way. The theology was HORRIBLE, the writing shallow (not to be harsh) and it was the book that I threw across the room when I was done and said, For goodness sakes, I could do better than that.

Then I thought, Hey, maybe I COULD do better. So all in all, it is the book responsible for me entering the wide world of writing. So it gets a spot on my list. Of course, I have great respect for anyone that writes a story, so I hate to be so critical, but at least I don't remember his name or the name of the book.

That was fun, although admittedly, a total waste of time in light of the fact that I should be getting my house packed.

I Will Be Back . . .

2009-07-15T15:08:00.000-04:00

when life cools off!

So . . . Any Advice?

2009-06-24T22:17:00.003-04:00

What do you tell your 9 year old when she's allergic to her bff's house??

Little one just came home from her friend's and she's puffed up, can't breathe, her eyes are swollen practically shut and she has blotchy red spots all over her face.

So we popped a Claritin and took a hot shower and hopefully that will help.

But how do you deal with life when you're nine and you're allergic to your bff's??

Any ideas?

Been Thinking A Lot About Theology . . .

2009-06-21T23:12:00.003-04:00

and I've decided so many people make so many sure statements about their version of the Bible that it's no wonder the world looks at us in confusion.

What's wrong with admitting we don't have all easy answers?

Now, from me, that's an interesting statement because I happen to believe there are LOTS of knowns, theologically speaking, that most people don't know because they're too lazy or uninterested to find out. I also happen to believe that if I don't know an answer, there are a TON of brilliant Christian thinkers that probably DO know the answer and all I have to do is a little research. I think saying, "Well, God's mysterious and we can't know everything," is often just a cop out for, "I'm too lazy to figure out the answer to this."

But what's wrong with researching something and saying, you know what, lots of Christians have different takes on this and I don't have to say someone else's Christianity sucks just because they've drawn a different conclusion than mine? I'm a little sick of the "my Christianity is real-er than yours" mentality. And yes, I know real-er isn't a word.

But I'm fed up with the arrogance of so much of the Christian community today.

There, I said it and I'm not taking it back.

Arrogance - pride - hatefulness - judgmentalism - all these things are pretty much a big fat NO- NO to Jesus, so I think a lot of people ought to just take a step back and see if they are treating their own brothers and sisters in Christ in a manner consistent with the values they supposedly hold so high.

Just saying.

Also, it probably doesn't hurt to remember that the only people Jesus brought the big smack down on were the religious people. Smug arrogant religious people weren't high on Christ's list of top ten favorite people to be around.

Jesus preferred the sinful folks, quite frankly.

And thank God He did, because that's way more accurate a description of me than the picture most people seem to try and pull off when they walk through the church doors.

And, for the record, the world ain't buying that picture anyway.

EXACTLY . . .

2009-06-11T18:29:00.007-04:00

Jared, over at the Thinklings, pretty much summed up some of the same thoughts I have on the big "culture war" the church seems to want to wage against the world. Go read it.

http://thinklings.org/posts/thoughts-on-the-culture-war

I really couldn't agree more.

His most important point would be:

8. It has no root in Jesus' ministry.

Jesus knew heart change didn't come through political power, cultural pressure, or zealotry, so he was keenly disinterested in those things.

I don't really think the other points are needed.

Culture War Christianity isn't the brand of Christian evangelicalism I'm interested in and it's SO FREAKING refreshing to know there are literally thousands of others in the boat with me. And it doesn't make me unbiblical, too liberal in theology or not interested in the same things the culture warriors usually talk about.

I'm still a Christian, I'm still a Conservative, I'm still interested in the things threatening my freedoms and religion. I just think those things are better left in the political arena.

Not the church.

The church should be where we take in sinners, like ourselves. Not wage war on them.

One Of The Big Days I've Been Dreading All Year Has Come And Gone

2009-06-08T23:31:00.002-04:00

So the big day is over. Tor is officially a high school graduate.
The parties are done, the diploma's in hand, the hat was thrown and mom's still crying like a wee little baby.
I actually held it pretty together for most of the weekend. I got separated from Hubby by a row of visiting parents and in-laws and he texted me right before the ceremony and said we could get everyone to skooch over so we could sit next to each other.
But I looked over at him and he'd already started getting a little water on the eyes.
So I texted back and said I better steer clear cuz I was already weepy enough and didn't need to be next to him to make it worse.
Yeah, I'm really romantic like that.
But I just couldn't make it any harder than it already was and the idea of being next to the man that gave me the beautiful child in the first place would've just made the whole thing worse.
I thought, yeah, if I just don't sit next to Hubby then I can make it through the whole thing without shedding a tear.
Fat chance.
I got a glimpse of her walking in the room and the ~~water works~~ cheering started.
I'm such a ~~wimp~~ warrior.
So, hmmm, let's just look ahead to August and imagine how well I'll do dropping her off at the dorms. I'm gonna need a truck load of Kleenex.
And a straight jacket and a rubber room.
Whose idea was it to let kids grow up anyway?

Laugh Or Cry . . . Whatever.

2009-05-27T11:49:00.003-04:00

I just looked at my last post and am just here to tell you . . . it got so much worse yesterday. Not that I'm complaining.

Actually it's one of those better laugh or you'll end up crying kinda situations.

And I've really just decided I oughta get used to laughing at the odd, crappy things that seem to happen in life. Otherwise I'd be a REALLY unhappy person and I just can't let myself go there.

Besides, it really is funny.

But I forgot how funny it really is once you look at my last post. Because I thought it was bad then. That was before the Big Kitchen Mayhap of 2009.

So Tor had a big senior event last night and I'm on the committee to do food stuff. My bff is, of course, the organizer and I'm the point-to-it-and-tell-me-what-to-do gal. As usual.

Anywho, I come in from walking to do my mom duty and bake these stupendous Espresso brownies for the event. Yeah, 3 dozen. And they totally rock.

Yes, I bake . . . some.

I flip on the oven to preheat and load the dishwasher to have a nice clean spot to work.

Yes, I clean . . . some.

I turn on the dishwasher and notice the garbage disposal needs to run because the water is backing up from the dishwasher.

Turn it on. SPLASH. Water explosion. All over the kitchen floor. The disposal spewed all over the place so I'm covered in disgusting back-up water and the floor is a mess and I can't find a mop.

Then I notice both sides of the sink are backing up - fast - and the smell is, shall I say, less than appetizing.

Quick. Turn off the dishwasher.

Does the water receed? No. Of course not. It just sits there. Making the entire house smell like, well let's see, sewage. Yes, that would be a good word to describe it.

I figure, I don't really have time for this because I'm already cramming time on finishing these 3 dozen brownies. Attention on the important job.

Turn my back and POW!

Bright light from inside the oven.

Yes. My oven blew up.

Not like bomb blew up, but inside the oven there's this bright light, a pop and a small fire.

Yeah.

All in one minute, while I'm trying to be Suzy homemaker and bake brownies, my entire kitchen rebels and shows me, yet again, why I'm simply not meant to be in the kitchen.

The kitchen hates me.

In case you're keeping count, we now know for certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt my body hates me, my kitchen hates me and we can reasonably assume every car I'll ever drive will also hate me since all the ones I've driven so far have.

God finds humor in these things, I'm sure, so I'm good with laughing along. No sense getting upset about these things.

At least it's just THINGS in my life falling apart. Could be my family, or my kids, or my spiritual life, or my . . . well, you get the idea.

I choose to laugh.

Pulling My Hair Out Over The Small Stuff

2009-05-21T17:07:00.006-04:00

So, 7 keys on my computer have to be BEAT in order to get them to work - meaning this will be a short post since it took 4 minutes to type this sentence.

My fridge sounds like a tornado's coming, one car needs a new tire (after going flat on Hubby in a rain storm - oops), the other car needs the tires balanced - shaking like an earthquake after about 30 mph, the jeep top has so many holes there's standing water after all this rain, my house is a wreck that needs multiple things to put it right, Tor has to go to 2 national volleyball things and I don't have the money for any of it.

And I don't work June and July.

Welcome to my life.

I Don't Have Time To Blog Here, But I Have A Guest Blog Up

2009-05-13T12:21:00.003-04:00

Ironic, no?
I guest blog for my BWB over at L'Chaim, which I can't pronounce, but I can tell you is Heather's blog which is devoted to all things art and God and how the two are connected.
I adore Heather, so go give her a visit here.
And then comment on her blog about how brilliant her guest blogger is. Heh-heh.

So I Was Just Sitting Around Reading . . .

2009-05-05T15:02:00.002-04:00

the publication my first short story is in!!!

I L-O-V-E it. Really.

It's a great variety of different kinds of stories. Everything from zombies to freaky healers in Mexico somewhere. So far there have only been a couple that I didn't just love. And even then, I liked them. There was just a couple of them I didn't quite get what happened in the end.

Mostly I'm just sitting there saying to myself, wow, some of these are really great. And then, wow, MY story's in there!

I'll get over it eventually, I'm sure.

Probably when I find out I'm not a finalist for the ACFW Genesis competition :)

Remember When I Was Worried I Might Forget Something?

2009-05-01T15:36:00.005-04:00

Well, it's not getting any better.

But at least one event is done.

Only fifty more to go.

Before the end of May.

Okay, not fifty LITERALLY. It just feels like fifty. And it will feel like fifty to you, too, when I forget to do something for you.

Again, apologies in advance.

However, Tor's big signing day with her BFF went swimmingly and the two of them are officially all signed up. Her summer workout plan from her college coach even arrived in the mail today. heh-heh

Not that I'll laugh at her a lot because I just started Jillian Michael's workout and I'm walking like a 90 year old hunchback with bad knees. I'm truly in complete body pain.

Add to that my BFF walks at the speed of light in the mornings and you'll know I'm killing myself here in pursuit of good health.

And a smaller butt.

No real luck on the whole smaller butt thing, but gee I bet my lungs and heart look great.

That's gonna really help me feel good this summer when I have to skulk about in a swimming suit. I'll look at all my fat in the mirror and say, "But wow, you have great insides!"

Yeah.

Anywho, Tor's summer workout arrived and she'll already be working out because her team qualified for nationals. We're JUST SO EXCITED about that. Really pleased to spend even more money to go to even more volleyball tournaments that even the girls on the team don't want to go to.

Real excited. Can you tell?

Because I don't have enough going on this summer. I really needed two more FOUR DAY volleyball tournaments.

Uh-huh.

So when I don't call you or forget your birthday or leave you on the side of the road because I told you I'd pick you up but you didn't call to remind me or you sit at a meeting waiting for me to show but I never do, you'll know it's because I have truly lost my mind.

But don't worry, I plan on finding it again when summer rolls around.

Well, Well, Well, What Do You Know . . .

2009-04-23T23:30:00.002-04:00

My son is a story teller.

We've been having issues with finding some motivation for school stuff with Middle One, but I just read his story for Creative Writing.

And it kicks butt.

It's awesome.

I'm so happy.

There just aren't words.

I Know I'm Forgetting Something

2009-04-20T21:40:00.003-04:00

I have that feeling every time I'm going on a trip or leaving a hotel room. I know I've left something or not done something really important.
And I've been on a lot of trips lately, in a lot of hotel rooms.
This year - since January - I've been home a total of like three weekends. Ridiculous - I know.
Bad luck of the draw on calendaring.
I don't suspect it will get much better until, um, middle of August. And by then I'll be wallowing in deep darkness cuz I've dropped off my baby at college.
However, this is the first time I remember feeling like I'm forgetting something in normal every day life.
It's right on the tip of my brain. I just can't quite figure out what it is.
Maybe I just have too much in general on my plate so I just THINK I'm forgetting.
Or maybe you'll be getting a big fat sorry from me cuz I forgot to meet you somewhere or do something for you.
If so, I do apologize in advance.
Hope it wasn't too important.
Anyone know what I'm forgetting?

I'm not kidding. Anyone?

Is He Distancing Himself From Idiots Or Truth?

2009-04-14T14:30:00.003-04:00

I honestly can't decide. If I were cynical, I'd say he's trying to do PR for God by saying that homosexuality is not a big deal. But he never really says that in the clip. And to be honest, there are some really hateful things said about homosexuals by so-called Christians that are worth distancing yourself from. On the other hand, let's not pretend that Jesus never had anything to say about sex and marriage.
What do you think? Is he backtracking from the Bible or merely trying to say that he has nothing against homosexuals as people and desires to keep a working relationship with them because of his efforts in the work he does for AIDS?

Little One Pulls A Fastie

2009-04-01T14:28:00.003-04:00

So, as Little One is walking out the door for school this morning and I tell the Hubby to hold up because I want to pull a fast-one-April-Fool's-Day on her. I didn't really have one, so I just wanted a sec to think of one. It wasn't brilliant, but right off the top of my head all I could think of was that as they were walking in the rain, she was going to have to run so she wouldn't get too wet. She said, I'll just walk under the umbrella with dad. I said, You're not allowed to be under the umbrella cuz it's for dad and he doesn't need to share. He said, Yea I'm not sharing - you'll just have to get a little wet. She got a perplexed look on her face that clearly implied she wanted to kick our butts and we said, April Fool's.

Not spectacular, but it's all I had for the moment. I didn't plan out any good ones because quite frankly I forgot about it.

It was small, but I got her. That's all that mattered. I then entered the house to pull a fast one on Middle One. Heh, heh.

On the way to school, she and Hubby did their usual routine. They walked and prayed on their way. So she drops a little something in her prayer that made Hubby wonder what she meant. After the prayer he asks her about it.

Oh, it's nothing. I don't want to tell.

Come on, Little One. What is it?

Mom will be mad.

Oh my. What's wrong?

Well, I didn't tell her I that I got an 'F' in math.

WHAT??????? How could you have gotten an 'F' in math? You've been doing great in math. What happened???

Oh, nothing. April Fool's.

Good one, my sweet. Good one. I'd say she's pretty quick on her feet for a nine year old. She came up with that between the front door and the school yard AND wove the bait for it into a PRAYER.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

Random Thoughts Because I'm In That Kind Of Bullet Mood

2009-03-31T16:12:00.005-04:00

* Just finished and sent an entry for this year's Genesis contest for American Christian Fiction Writers. Why is it that any time my stories are out there for judgement I start to think, Why did you do that? It's not good enough to be looked at yet? even though I've gone over and over it until I can't make it any better than I can make it?
* Having said that, you should know that if I'm a finalist I'm SO going to the conference again this year and will take my finished novel. I will completely rearrange my entire world to complete the darned thing.
* I might even ship myself off to my mother's for an entire month of the summer and forget I have kids in order to finish it.
* Ok. I won't be able to do that, but boy will I want to.
* I've taken a look at my calendar for the next couple of months and I want to hide under the covers and pretend I'm someone else.
* I'm more than a little frustrated with the direction the current administration is taking our country. But more than that I'm wondering if some of the people in the U.S. even understand what it means to be an American. You know, if they've ever even read or heard of our constitution. We should be able to identify that we're headed for REAL freaking trouble when our government is stepping in to control wages and no one even cares.
* And don't you find it ironic that the movie stars aren't worried about that? Hollywood is all Obama, Obama now, but do you think they'll sing the same tune if he decides they shouldn't make more than $500,000 for a movie?
* Of course, we all recognize that Obama won't do that. He's only interested in controlling the wages of the evil business man.
* Isn't God awesome????
* I'm so amazed at the different little things He's done this week just to remind me that He's paying attention and He's got it all under control. He amazes me regularly.
* Do you remember The Midnite Diner with my story's coming soon???? If not, go get it here. GO.
* Y-A-Y for me!!!
* My kids are awesome! Not to mention, some of the funniest people I know.
* So is my husband!
* How did I get so lucky to have such a great family???

Funny How God Shows You Things In Such Strange Circumstances

2009-03-26T13:30:00.007-04:00

You know, sometimes He just smacks you upside the head with an AHA moment that shows you He is working in you. I have had some of that recently. One of my favorites is this: Letting Him make you into something you could never be on your own really is better, just like He says. Duh.

I used to be one of those people - I mean a long time ago - that worried what people might be saying about me or thinking about me. Like I just had to figure out why they said it, how I could make them see that it wasn't true and then froth at the mouth if they wouldn't listen and get highly irrate with that person if they didn't like me. Why don't they like me? Why don't they understand me? Why can't I make them see my point of view? Why? Why? Why? Me, me, me . . .

Then around 12 or 15 years ago - wow, I'm ~~old~~ wise - something negative happened with another person and God just started slowly teaching me that He takes care of that kind of thing and everyone is not going to like me. And I'm not going to like everyone. And my personality isn't going to click with everyone else's.

And. That's. Okay.

He made us all individually. We're different. That's part of the beauty of the Body. I mean, really, someone has to have the mercy in the group. That's not me, so SOMEBODY better have SOME somewhere or else we're gonna have real trouble.

But that's the brilliance of His design. Someone does have the things that I don't.
So I've started realizing over time that I really AM okay with this. I don't get hot and bothered when people don't like me. And I don't dislike them for not liking me. I. Really. Don't. I truly see this as a natural occurence within the Body of Christ.

And I don't think about it. Because I can still love someone I don't like. And there's no WAY that's me, that can only be Christ at work in me. That's not something you can do on your own. That's the thing you can hang onto when you're wondering what God's doing with your silly little life. You grab onto the fact that He's making you into something you can't make yourself on your own. And praise Him for doing it!

This brings such a level of peace. Really. Letting God handle your reputation is SO freeing. Understanding that He's big enough to handle the people that don't like you leaves you on your own to handle whether or not your house is clean enough.

Well, that's a crappy example. I don't want time to think about THAT.

But you get what I'm saying.

I don't have to feel the need to run over to every person that gets in a froth over me. My God is big enough to work in their lives to point out to them what they need to learn. Or if they're not listening to Him I can work up the love to feel sorry for them for being such miserable people. All I have to worry about is ME.

And I certainly don't need to work myself up into a tissy over things that are said about me that aren't even TRUE.

I mean, for heaven's sake, how on earth could anyone ever control that?

So, all that to say, what's God making you into that could only be Him in you?

WOW . . .

2009-03-26T08:49:00.002-04:00

Sometimes there aren't even words to describe the complete level of . . . just, wow.

Un-freakin'-believeable.

Quite A Quandary

2009-03-22T21:44:00.003-04:00

For my writer friends out there, I have a question.

Do you ever wonder if you just love good stories so much that you'll keep on reading other people's great stories and never get around to writing your own? How do you balance the reading and the writing?

I'm reading so much lately that I've just realized it is one of the biggest hindrances to writing my own. And I really love my story. I really do.

But I really love other stories.

What to do? I'm missing my own characters. I guess the fact that they're still calling is a good sign . . .

For my non-writer friends, please ignore the fact that I just told you I have voices calling me in my head.

This is perfectly normal.

Really.

Book Review: Daisy Chain by Mary E. DeMuth

2009-03-19T23:07:00.003-04:00

I had to put the title of the book to the side because it's pop-culture reference to unseemly things has nothing to do with this book. I'm not quite sure everyone even knows what I'm talking about - surely the publisher didn't - you'll have to Google that yourself cuz I'm not saying.

Um, this is a family blog.

BUT once I got past that and got into this story I was pleasantly surprised for a few reasons:

1. A Southern novel - haven't read a good one in a while. Kind of like sweet tea, good when it's good.

2. A Christian novel that didn't make me cringe - she didn't forget it's a story not a sermon. This is not to say it wasn't full of "religious" stuff, but it fit within the story. It is about a preacher's son, afterall. And that's also not to say I haven't read any good Christian novels lately. I have. Some really good ones. It's just that it's still a bit of a crap shoot as to which way it's gonna go.

3. Great characters - since it's a trilogy I know there's more to them. And she does a good job at letting us know there's a story underneath each character. Here's what I'm hoping the next book will reveal: why the preacher's such a confusing and abusive ass, why the mother just sits there and takes it and what's the deal with Daisy's father. You'll have to read the book if you want to know what I'm talking about.

4. Terrific suspense - while I was reading, I forgot it was a trilogy and got to the end and was like, oh crap. That's right, it's only book number one. Now the waiting begins.

5. Moving story - a little depressing because the entire book is about a missing girl. The main character's best friend goes missing and the poor kid thinks it's his fault because he didn't walk her home. However, there are little moments of hope sprinkled through out the story making us think that just maybe Jed will be able to discover some of life's truths.

If I had to pick something I didn't like because someone was holding one of my kids over a ledge or something it would be that I can work up ZERO sympathy for Jed's dad, the preacher. I get the feeling because of little hints here and there that he might used to have been a decent kind of fellow. I just don't care if he ever was or not because he's so horrible now. So if there's some sort of huge moment coming where he turns from his evil ways I think I'm going to have a hard time caring.

He's horrible.

On the other hand, the author did a good job of showing a little bit of the inside of an abusive home. And it's a true look at the way some people twist the gospel into something ugly and oppresive. We don't always like to think that's true, but it is. That's reality.

And I don't mind reading a CBA book that acknowledges that.

Sometimes the "Christian" is the bad character in real life, too.

Anyway, now I have to sit around waiting for book two. Great. How many series can I wait on? First Dean Koontz' Frankenstein, then my sweet Odd and now Jed's story ( get your own copy here. ).

These people better get to writing.

I can't wait forever, ya know.

My Happy Bubble

2009-03-18T14:44:00.005-04:00

Why, oh why, is it that I suck at all the things I really should excel in? In fact, I can't figure out why I've tortured myself by being a stay at home mom at all. I hate cooking, can't figure out how to keep my house clean, suck it UP at doing all the crafty-oh-look-at-that-bug-let's-talk-about-biology-I'm-a-perfect-stay-at-home mom projects and in general am unmotivated to decorate in any way shape or form. You know, all the things successful sahms do.

SO WHY did I choose to dedicate myself to this doomed-from-the-start type of life?

Oh, yeah. My kids.

I remind myself all the time that I did this to parent my children not to have a clean house. Not that they necessarily appreciate this yet. But they will.

One day.

I'll probably be dead, but at least I know the day is coming.

But I still want to know why I have to be so BAD at all the other stuff.

Oh yeah, add to the list (how could I have forgotten this one?) I can't get that perfect-little-sahm size 2 figure either. How are these mom's doing this? Really. I'm just so tired of trying to attain this marvelous little figure that I'm probably never going to find again. Call me crazy, but food loves to stick to me. And my body hates me. Not a good combination.

And while I'm at it, let's don't forget I'm also a fairly lousy stereotypical minister's wife. I'm opinionated, mouthy . . . well, just those two alone kind of start the list out in the hole. But there's more. Actually, the entire list involves being opinionated and mouthy so why bother coming up with more?

What's ironic is that God made me this way on purpose. He's probably getting a fairly good laugh off of me daily. I'm happy to play that role, I suppose. I mean, the whole hey-lets-see-what-happens-when-a-woman-with-no-homemaking-skills-decides-to-stay-at-home-to-parent-and-lets-make-her-mouthy-and-a-minister's-wife-to-boot comedy moment for God works in a lot of ways.

Let's face it, it IS pretty humorous. Add to that I've dipped my toe in the writing world. Bound to bring more failure than success, without a doubt. Mix all that up together and you've got yourself a self-perpetuating nightmare. Funny, but a continuous bad dream.

Yet, here I sit, a basically happy person. I look at all that stuff and kind of wonder what I'm so darned happy about.

Oh, yeah, my kids.

That's it. I have great kids. That's not to say they don't have their moments or their faults - really, not to say that - can you say school issues? But I have GREAT kids. It's amazing how much you can overlook in life when you have a happy family, isn't it?

In the long run, it won't matter how messy my house is, how crappy I am at decorating, whether I publish a book, if I'm ever a smaller size or if I ever appreciate the joys of cooking a good meal - which will never happen, I'm quite sure. None of these things can possibly matter if I turn out good kids.

So don't pop my happy bubble. Ignore my house, my butt size and my big mouth.

Just remember, I'm working on the kids. I'll work on all that other stuff when I'm done with them :)

Maybe.

Late, Of Course, For Blogtour Of Daisy Chain

2009-03-13T23:38:00.005-04:00

I am supposed to be joining in on the blogtour for Mary DeMuth's book Daisy Chain.

Actually, that makes it sound like I won't be, but I will. It's just going to be late. I'm almost done with the book and I don't want to write it until I finish.

Too much life happening in the past couple of weeks, so I want to finish the book and do a good job for the blog on it.

To Mary, if she happens to stop by cuz I'm on a list somewhere: Really sorry. Love it so far! And I'm at a volleyball tournament so I have LOTS of time to read.

Queens, Here We Come!

2009-03-10T18:46:00.002-04:00

We got the official call. Tor is no longer an alternate. She is a Presidential Scholar. All I want to say is thank you God for the two people that decided Queens isn't the place for them because it is SO the place for Tor!

Only one thing can make this sweeter. One more phone call for the bff that is next on the alternate list!

Two down, one to go! It can SO happen.

I have to admit, I didn't really think it would even happen for Tor, but now that two have turned it down I am totally convinced that one more could do it.

Everybody pray.

Because it is so unbelievably AWESOME that Tor gets to go!!! But the picture perfect scenario is that they BOTH get to go!

I'm without a doubt getting on the God phone for the whole enchilada!!

In Case You're Wondering Where I've Been, I Was With God For A While

2009-03-04T14:09:00.007-05:00

Well, Monday was a day spent soaking in all kinds of good God things. And He had a lot to say.

Youth Pastor's Summit in Orlando, once again, rocked. Considering they put it on free of charge to the ministers (and other youth-type people) that come, they get some of the most incredible speakers.

I'll just drop one name on you. Frances Chan.

If you haven't heard him speak, quit reading this, Google him and listen to every sermon podcast, YouTube video or mp3 file you can find. I even got this for you.

He's unbelievable.

Real. That's how I would describe him. He wants more of God than what we're getting here in the American church. And isn't that putting words on exactly what I've been feeling?

Yes. It is.

I want more. Surely there's more to this thing than what we're doing. Don't you just want to put feet to your faith and go out in the world and be Jesus to somebody? But don't you also want to surround yourself with people that want the same thing?

One of the things he said was about this guy, who everywhere he went people kept saying, so and so had an impact on my life. And they were all doing amazing God stuff. Then another friend said, oh yea. I know that guy. He's the only person I've ever met that when I got finished talking to him I thought to myself, man that's the closest I'll ever come in life to knowing what it must've been like to walk with Jesus.

Wow. Just to have someone say that about you. Isn't that what we all want??

We had to sit the family down and say some hard stuff when we got back. Things like, our family needs to look a little more like Christ. Things like, how are we using the things we're involved with to show the world what Jesus looks like? Things like, do you need to drop some stuff you're doing in order to have the time to look more like Him?

There's a whole world out there waiting for US to be something different than they are. Right now, we all just look a whole lot like the world. Same jobs, same focus on material things, same divorce rate, same pornography issues, same adultery, same . . . the list goes on cuz for the most part we look very much, well, the same.

What we need to look like is a group of people that have been RADICALLY changed by the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sold out, madly in love with the Author of Life and willing to pay a price to follow Him wherever He leads. Which, if we read the New Testament closely, will probably take us right out of our comfort zone, right into the world with a life changing message.

Risky.

Yeah, buddy, that's exactly what I'm ready for.

I have no idea what that means.

Really, Cleaning Is Not My Gift

2009-02-26T19:00:00.003-05:00

So I spent all day cleaning. Anyone who knows me, knows I suck at this.
I realized just how bad I am at it today when I decided to clean behind a bottle of shampoo that was sort of empty, so it just sat there in the shower. You know? Oh, wait. You probably don't know cuz when a bottle of something is gone at your house you probably throw it in, oh I don't know, the TRASH can.
Not me. No, I leave it there so water can pool behind it and grow.
But, for the record, I just want to add that "cleanliness is next to godliness" is NOT in the Bible. Someone with a Martha personality made that up completely. Probably my BFF. She's SO Martha. Bible Martha and Martha Stewart both. If Jesus came over she would so whip up something tasty to eat. And it would look like it should go in a Southern Hospitality magazine to boot.
I would clarify that she wouldn't complain to Jesus about me hanging out and not helping though. She rarely falls below the line. Plus, she'd have me decorating the table so I technically WOULD be helping.
Jesus would have a rocking good time at a party put on by the two of us. But it would be at HER house because mine would be a mess.
I accept this fact about myself and try not to wallow in it. I'm glad I married a man that is not OCD, so that he can, ya know, live with me.
I have so many other great qualities that MORE than make up for my inability to stay on top of housework. Hehe (See me wiggling my eyebrows here.)
I try. I really do. But there are so many terrific books that get in my way, or interesting things on the internet, or papers to grade, or . . . well, pretty much anything else I can find to do that doesn't involve scrubbing or laundry.
So if you come over on a day that my house happens to be clean, please pretend it is always so. I helps me keep up the delusion that no one really knows I'm a complete and total loser as a housekeeper.
Good thing I'm SUCH a great mother!

This Is All I Have To Say Today. . .

2009-02-24T15:34:00.003-05:00

I TOTALLY need my ladies' night out. I need some kind of motivation to keep on the mommy train. It's coming up on the end of the school year and I just need a good ~~strong drink~~ dose of inspiration to keep me going. This ride is getting a little frustrating and I need someone to let me up to the engine room to blow the whistle and have a little fun.
Plus, it wouldn't hurt to feel like I was in control of the train.
Right now it feels like kids with attitude (can you say it's tough to be nine?) drive the train.
Really, the drivers are some other ~~brats~~ future college students that need to turn down two scholarships so my girls (hey Sabah) can have them. They're driving me to ~~a crappy~~ an unknown destination right now and it's time for them to hop off. Let me have the wheel.
Oh, yeah and leave the scholarships on the train :)
Back to the ladies night out. . .
Believe it or not, yours truly is usually the bringer of all things sappy to these little soirees. One time I made everyone write limericks about how great we all are.
Another time I made everyone write one word descriptions of the terrific-ness that is us.
And yet another evening was the night of Haikus.
I know that you don't really peg me as your typical make-everyone-write-a-poem kind of gal, but there ya go.
I've really never laughed as hard as I did those nights of the sappy poems. Well, sappy isn't the right word, really. There was too much talk of thongs for the poems to get sappy.
I need another activity to bring hilarity to the next evening out, so get your thinking caps on and give me an idea.
I'm all tapped out.
Like I said, I'm on a fast moving train to Crapsville. You can't expect me to think creatively when I'm figuring out how to jump off.

I've Been Thinking . . .

2009-02-23T20:29:00.004-05:00

a lot lately about how God works.
I've been listening to some GREAT FREAKING preaching by Steven Furtick - don't know if that's how you spell his name, but that's how it sounds - of Elevation Church in Charlotte. We visited there while on our marvelous Presidential Scholarship weekend. Um, yeah, still waiting.
Simply said, that church kicks butt in a major way. You'll have to believe me when I say it was like being a teenager on camp high, but it was regular church. Cool music (maybe a little too cool for me, but good none the less), great preaching and the friendliest stinkin' people in the world.
Anyway, what was so cool was to see an entire auditorium full of people so excited about what God's doing in their lives that they just can't hide it. We met a guy from Atlanta there. We asked him if he moved there to work at the church (since he was from Atlanta) and he said, nah, he'd just moved there to volunteer so he could be a part of what God was doing.
THAT'S how exciting this church is.
Thousands of people's lives are being changed there. Yes, I said thousands. Hundreds at a time. Read what's going on here. It's not some fruity revival with crazy people you read about either, it's just normal people living for God in a major way.
Anyhow, doesn't that make you think about your own church and what God is or isn't doing there and why He is or isn't?
Add to that I'm reading the book The End Of The Spear by Steve Saint, nowhere near done and it's already so good.

So I'm surrounding myself with stories of people allowing themselves to used in big ways to do mighty big things and I'm wondering if I'm where God wants me.
Big problem since my church also happens to be the place my HUSBAND works.
But I'm at the place in my life where I just want to be a part of big things for God, intimacy with God is high on my priority list right now and I'm wondering if I'm at the best place to cultivate that. Church is such an integral part of hearing from God and using your gifts and being with like minded people and sometimes I look around and feel like I'm a stranger floating amongst people who have no clue what I'm talking about. (Obviously not everyone, just in general.)

Does this even make sense?

Probably not, but alas, that's where I sit.

Which is why I'm thinking and praying.

And not making any quick moves.

On Books In General And Maybe A Little Parenting Advice (This Is A Full Service Blog, Am I Right?)

2009-02-17T12:33:00.004-05:00

I know it seems like forever since I've reviewed a book (besides Parting the Waters for a blog-tour) and the assumption could be that I'm not reading.

You know what they say about assuming.

Just kidding.

Of course I'm reading. I just haven't been able to review them what with all the ~~crap~~ busy-ness in my life. So I'll just make a few recommendations.

I've decided I'll read anything by Orson Scott Card now. I just finished Treasure Box. It's basically about some modern day, bad witches that take over this poor guys life. It's interesting to say the least. Let's just say he unknowingly marries a succubus spirit that one of the witches sent. Can't really get any more fascinating than that, am I right?

OK. That's not for everyone. I would recommend Wally Lamb's book She's Come Undone, I mean Oprah did, however I can't in good conscience give it a thumbs up. I thought it was depressing and melodramatic. It's about a child rape victim that grows up to be a fat girl whose father leaves her family and how she grows up. It's one horrible decision after another with no real redemption in the end. Oprah probably made this book a best seller, but not because it's a great book. In my humble opinion of course. It was written well, I just wasn't crazy about the story.

So, instead, pick up Dean Koontz's short story collection Strange Highways. Wow. Not a bad story in the mix. Liked all of them. You've got your alien stories, ghost stories, man's bad-experiments-out-of-control stories, religion-out-of-control stories (from both sides, incidentally), robot stories and next stage of human evolution stories. Truly you never know what you're going to get. Loved it. Plus, how great is a short story collection? Read a little at a time and still be done with a story or read several great stories at one time. Awesome.

I never talked about the Twilight series here either. Really liked that story. You know I'm not really much of a romance reader. Well, I can stomach Nicholas Sparks. I figure it's because he's a man writing romance so it skips all the, well, ~~stupid~~ female aspects of romance. (No offense, Mom, I know you like a good romance.) Hubby's the romantic in my marriage so I'm just not cut out for it, I guess. Anywho, all that to say, not crazy about romance, but throw in a vampire and a werewolf and I'm totally on board. The writing's not gonna win any literary awards any time soon, but I'm betting she doesn't care as she laughs her way to the bank.

Wouldn't let my young tween read it though. So many parents are putting it in the hands of middle schoolers and they are basically learning to be obsessive about the dangerous guy at any expense. Not a wise message to ingest for tweens that are just dumb enough to think their loser guy has all the qualities of Edward without the teeth. There are other things besides a vampire that can bite you on the arse, my young teenaged ladies, trust me.

And moms, how hard is it to read a book before you just stick it in the hand of your 10 yo? Come on, save it for the older teens that can at least reason through the fact that it is fantasy not reality.

Just saying.

I know I'm forgetting great books. Those are the ones that come to the front of my mind right now. That is one negative about reading a lot of books. A minor negative, mind you. You do tend to forget them unless someone says, hey have you read so-and-so book and it brings it to mind. However, with all the terrific characters churning around in my brain, I don't care if some of them slip to the back.

They all come back out to play eventually.

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part Or My Tribute To Tom Petty

2009-02-16T10:21:00.005-05:00

As we all sit around and wait for that phone call - what? You're not sitting around waiting for the most important phone call of your daughter's life?
Let me tell you what it's like.
It sucks.
My stomach is in knots. Every time someone calls I don't want to answer the phone. It might be them. Then it might be bad news. On the other hand, when the phone's not ringing I'm wondering when they'll be calling with the good news.
Then I'm back to dreading that it might be bad news.
I'm a total mess.
And don't let me forget to tell you about how we got home last night, went to Mom's to pick up Little and Middle Ones and as I was walking out the door I realized I was REALLY cold. Like teeth chattering cold. As I walked from the door to the car it occured to me that I was so cold I hurt. I literally chattered the whole way home. And my legs were in pain.
Bizarre, since it wasn't very cold out.
~~Weird, since I'm not old enough for one little car trip to make my legs hurt so bad.~~
Plus, of course, my entire family was making fun of me.
Yeah, guys, real funny.
Turns out, for some odd reason, I was running a 102.2 degree fever. It completely wiped me out. I laid on the sofa in my winter coat and 3 freaking blankets, teeth still chattering.
The fever broke 4 hours later and the pain in my legs went away and now I'm fine.
Weird, huh?
Sucks being ~~old~~ an adult and getting a fever.
Anywho, I'll either have really good news in the next couple of days or I won't be blogging because I'll be ~~giving up my religion and getting really drunk~~ depressed.
Either way I'm still just sitting here waiting on the phone to ring.
It's a real trial, being me.

Humor At My Own Expense

2009-02-10T13:23:00.002-05:00

Good thing Little One prayed for my safety today as I walked her to school, otherwise I might be ~~dead~~ in the hospital.
Her exact words, "And keep Mommy safe as she goes home from my school and everywhere she goes today."
Luckily these words were uttered and in the back of my mind as I so ~~stupidly~~ bravely loaded my thirty-something arse onto her scooter for a little ride back to the house.
I figured why not take advantage of the extra speed and give myself a few extra seconds in the day to boot.
Sure, why not? After all, I've done it before. Several times. Every time she decides to scooter to school, as a matter of fact. I even ride half way on each leg so that I don't only use one leg to push. Wouldn't want to over-muscle one leg, right?
So, everything's going swimmingly until I decide to try and switch legs without stopping. That part was actually OK, what wasn't OK was that while I was switching said legs I was not also watching the sidewalk so when it ended and turned to grass the scooter stopped and I didn't.
Oh, plus, it swung around on itself and slammed into the back of my leg, not once or twice, but three freaking times, as I was doing everything in my power to stay on my feet and off my, ahem, rear.
I have a nice shiny black spot to commemorate my lovely trip.
And the remote hopes that my neighbor, who pretended not to see, really didn't. This is the same neighbor who thinks there's a small chance that Middle One is a future serial killer because she's afraid he wants to kill her cat - which of course he doesn't, he loves kitties - whole different story. Anywho it's possible she's simply scared to look at our house and therefore she really wasn't watching my creative aerobics.
Possible, but not likely. More likely she was laughing because the serial killer's mom was tripping all over herself.
Great, now we're gonna have to take her out.
Just kidding, lady.
Geez, lighten up.

This Is The Big Week!

2009-02-09T11:13:00.002-05:00

This is the week we will all be preparing for Tor's big interviews at Queens for the Presidential Scholarship.

Full academic ride.

Gotta have this.

And, to make it even better, her bff is up for the same scholarship. How much fun is that?

Keep your fingers crossed or better yet, say a huge prayer cuz this is a HUGE deal for her. Getting the right clothes, practicing what to say, giving good handshakes, and making sure she doesn't let nerves get the best of her are top on the priority list.

Pray for her this week.

A lot.

How'd This Happen?

2009-02-06T12:23:00.002-05:00

I didn't know I was on the ethics committee for our travel soccer organization, but evidently I am. I think I may VAGUELY remember some part of a conversation that I said, oh sure, to. Very vaguely. I'm the official "complaint taker." It involves being the first to receive email complaints or questions and filtering them to the right person or answering them if I can.

Well. Now we've evidently had a big parent/coach/player altercation on a field in the middle of a game in public with another team and a ref.

Yea me.

How do I get myself into these predicaments???

My Vomit Story's Hard To Top, Ladies

2009-02-03T18:51:00.005-05:00

So my sister and friend, Ali, are swapping puketrocious stories at their blogs (which you will find in my sidebar). And they are chuckle-worthy stories to be sure. But when it comes to the glories of motherhood in the recycled lunch arena, I , my friends am the Queen of the Land of Spew.

Think back with me, if you will, to June 2007. One evening, after a rousing night of VBS, I get the news that Tor and Hubby have been in a car accident - which is a whole other story in itself. It involves head injuries and endless loops of the same 5 minute conversation with my husband over and over again for approximately 5 hours. Goes something like this:

"What happened?"

"You were in an accident with Tor."

"Is Tor ok?"

"Yes, she's fine."

"Then why is she on crutches? What's wrong with her leg?"

"They are xraying it. It's probably not broken. They just want to be sure."

"What happened?"

"Somebody turned into your car."

"Was it my fault?"

"No."

"Was it a man or a woman?"
"It was a teen-aged girl."

Pause. "Hmmmm. How ironic." (He's a youth minister, after all.)

"Yes. Ironic."

Pause. "Hey, are we in a hospital?"

"Yes."
"Why? What happened?"

And the whole conversation looped itself around. Over and over and over and over . . . you get the idea.

Very tedious. Exact same conversation, right down to the irony bit. Got to where just to change it up, I'd beat him to the punch and say, "You were hit by a teenaged girl. Isn't that ironic?" And he'd chuckle and say, "I was going to say that." and I'd say, "I KNOW. YOU"VE ALREADY SAID IT 100 TIMES."

Then the conversation would start all over again.

But I digress. The real story here is all about the throw up.

So, for some reason I've never been able to understand, the hospital staff thought it would be wise to send a 275 lb. man with a head injury and 5 minutes of memory home with his wife. After they asked me if he seemed to be showing any violent tendencies since the accident and I said no, they packed us up and sent us on our way.

I felt real good about that.

Thanks so much.

Meanwhile, Tor is a little freaked - she's been in a horrible accident and her dad's brain seems to be made of Jello and he doesn't remember her sixteenth birthday.

So, we walk through the door and WHAMO.

The puke smell knocks me flat and I lift my head toward heaven and give the big guy an 'are you kidding me?' eye roll.

Yes, sweet Little One has puked from one end of her room to the other. Projectile. All over the place.

Marvelous. Just what I needed, fresh home from the emergency room.

So, I put Hubby on the sofa next to Little One and tuck Tor into bed, close her door and grab a bucket of pinesol and get ready to clean up.

Oh yeah. It's 3 a.m.

I just hit my knees to scrub the floor when I hear this wailing from the next room.

Ah, the evening has just hit Tor. She's understandably shaken.

So I put down the sponge, open Tor's door to comfort and who should come down the hall but Hubby.

"Why's Tor crying?"

"She's upset about the evening."

"Why? What happened? Why are there crutches?"

"Remember? You were in an accident."
"Accident? Was it my fault?"

And there we go again. Only this time interject me trying to explain to him that HIS TALKING is what's upsetting Tor because HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE and he's FREAKING HER OUT.

So, my new endless nightmare begins because everytime I hit my knees to finally scrub the puke, Tor starts wailing, I try to comfort her, he comes down the hall and it is like one big example of what I'm pretty sure hell is like for about 30 minutes.

As the spew is drying into pretty little carpet spikes all over Little One's room I took a moment to ask God if He was truly serious about the predicament I was in. I was really wondering if that kind of thing looked funny to Him from above, because honestly, when I look back at it, it was fairly humorous in a sick kind of way.

After the 15th time of getting Hubby back to the couch, giving Tor a sleeping pill and getting Little One to fall asleep on the sofa next to Hubby, I finally gave up and called my bff.

"I know it's 4 a.m. but I can't get my husband to sit his . . ."

The rest of the sentence spiraled into fits and cries and sounded a bit hysterical, I'm afraid. Bff ran right over.

You never know how great a friend is until she helps you ball up puked on sheets, blankets and stuffed animals for the washer at 4 in the morning. It took a good 2 hours to get all the throw up from in between the dresser drawers (that of course were open so the clean clothes could join in the throw up laundry) and the other crevices that you'd be surprised could hide puke. And I was still finding it dried in weeks later.

Never would've believed that much barf could fit in one tiny tummy.

But there ya go.

Projectile hurl drying all over the house, endless explanations to a brain-rattled hubby and good ol' mommy comforting to a very shaken 16 year old. All at the same time.

Like I said, that's pretty hard to top. But give it a go. What's your favorite puke story? And, yes, I realize that's probably the oddest question I've ever asked.

Blog Tour: Parting The Waters By Jeanne Damoff

2009-01-30T15:10:00.002-05:00

I first came across Jeanne Damoff when reading The Master's Artist - a Christian writers' blog - that my friend Mike writes for every other Thursday because I'm too disorganized to remember which Thursday is his. I would accidentally pop in on the Thursdays when Jeanne contributed. She's always witty, insightful and fun so eventually I just started popping in on Thursdays to read whether it was her or Mike.
She does this thing with a point system that I never have been quite able to figure out. I think she gives you points if you makes her laugh out loud. I've never gotten any points from her and we all know how hilarious I am, so there's a breakdown there somewhere.
Oh wait , I think the breakdown is that I'm mostly a lurker on TMA and she has no idea who I am.
Anywho, when the blog tour notice went out for her book, I jumped on board because I've always been interested in the things she writes. Needless to say, the book came in the mail and sat on the table because my life's been a hectic mess for the past 3 weeks.
So with last night being the next to the last day to do the blog tour, I picked up the book figuring I'd just have skim it to get the gist of the story.
I started crying on page 18 as she described her and her husband singing over their sick child's bed and knew I wasn't going to be able to give it a cursory read.
I read every word in a night. Pretty much cried through the whole thing, too, btw.
Her journey with God through the roughest time imaginable for a mother was inspiring. There's no false hope or shallow Sunday School responses either. It's very clear that her family has had some very frank conversations with God over the way Jacob's life turned out.
Jacob nearly drowned (one of his friends did drown) on a church trip and was deprived of oxygen for at least 10 minutes. They were told he would probably remain in a vegetative state until he passed away and the book is the story of Jeanne's, and their family's, journey through this time and out to the other side where Jacob is very much alive - different but full of life.
What struck me most is the thoughts that went through my head as I read. I imagined each step along the path happening to me and marveled at Jeanne's strength. I think the natural response when hearing about another person's struggle in the midst of heartache is I don't know how they do it. But what I loved about this book is the daily recording of just how they did it. No smoke and mirrors or false pretenses about their out and out frustration with God but, instead, a beautiful story of how you can move through tragedy and come out on the other side with a deeper knowledge of what He finds beautiful. The obvious outcome, from the other side, is a spectacular vision of God's body at work, God's faithfulness when you can't see Him, love of community and strength of family, all knit together to show God's love and glory to anyone that bothers to look for Him. This is how He reveals Himself to the world - through our lives.
And He's putting on a big show at the Damoff's.
I will never forget her description of Jacob with his hands lifted in unabashed praise of God. The accident may have taken his math skills, but his love for God is unhindered and lavish.
The way the community rallied around her family, not just her church but the whole community, is a clear picture of what life on earth would be like if we all lived out our faith.
And her family's deepening faith is a shining example and what I pray my own family's response to the Father would look like were He to require anything like that from us.
That's the point, I suppose. Jeanne's experience poured on the page shows us that even when it's difficult to see Him at work, He's there behind the scenes waiting for us to lean on Him instead of trying to get by on our own. That's what the body of Christ needs, people encouraging others by example so that we can all, one day, come out on the other side looking like Jesus.
Get the book here.
Read Jeanne's blog here.

Allow Me One Shameless Plug

2009-01-25T20:21:00.002-05:00

The day is here.

I wondered if it would ever get here, but here it is.

You can officially go pre-order Coach's Midnite Diner and get a copy of my FIRST published piece. Just go to http://themidnightdiner.com and get yourself your very own copy. Then turn to my story and read it first, cuz you love me. Then read all the rest of them cuz you want to support a great publication. Hey, why not get a subscription? I'm just sayin'.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I didn't think I'd be this excited, cuz it's just a short story and all, but I really am.

Really. Exciterated!

Yesterday's Post May Have Been A Downer, So How About A Laugh?

2009-01-23T12:54:00.002-05:00

When you have pipes like Aretha, why do you put this on your head?

I didn't hear the song, it's easy to find on YouTube I'm sure, but all I can think is how would I be able to listen when her bow is so loud?

And what's even worse? When you do a search for a pic of Aretha in her hat, you find an article that says there's a run on hats like hers. Making a career for the hat designer.

Really?

Cuz that's just what I want, to walk around with a giant bow on my face. Doesn't everyone?

Apparently they do.

I. Am. So. Out. Of. Style.

On Kids Growing Up Or I Am Such A Wimp

2009-01-21T13:24:00.003-05:00

Not to beat the topic like a dead horse, but I can't help thinking about the fact that in approximately 6 months I will be sending my baby off into the big, bad world. Again, I don't want to belabor the point, but I am not ready for this.

Now, my bff has a totally different take on this. She's excited for the future of our lovely girls. I mean, she'll miss them, but her focus is on how fun their future is looking. They are (hopefully, if the Scholarship committee has any brains) about to get their full rides to a great school, join the same volleyball team and my bff - ever on the ball - has already found them a church to visit. This church looks AWESOME, btw. Unbelievable.

And I understand that point of view. I AM excited for Tor. I really am. Can't stop thinking about what a great opportunity she has to have an incredible college experience. Wake up at night thinking about how fun it's gonna be to road trip to college volleyball - no stupid parents to deal with, ya know what I mean? I get all happy imagining her finding the perfect job (especially when I realize her great job means more money in my budget).

All that stuff. Big yes. Very exciting stuff.

But what do you do with the hole? The missing part of the family? How do you wake everybody up in the morning for school next year and not pass her door and wish time didn't go so fast? How do you adjust from the living at home relationship to the grown up relationship without focusing on the fact that things never really will be the same again?

And I have to do this THREE freaking times???

No one told me when they put my sweet babies in my arms how short the time would be before I had to turn them loose. And as much as I joke with her about bootin' her to the curb, it's all just to cover up the fact that I can't think about next August without turning into a big, blubbery baby.

And I'm not even going to admit that I'm bawling right now as I type this.

Nope, I'm not crying at all.

IT'S GREAT TO BE A FLORIDA GATOR!!!!!!

2009-01-09T00:04:00.003-05:00

Need I say more??

Is There Anything Better Than . . .

2009-01-08T10:26:00.003-05:00

your yearly visit to the doctor? Is there anything I love more than donning the small paper gown and sitting on a cold table awaiting the arrival of a doctor who's gonna shove a cold, metal piece of machinery up my hoo-ha?

Maybe it's the interrogation before the exam by the young nurse:

Are you on any medications?

No. (Good answer. She doesn't hear that very often. Feeling very good about quiz. Big points.)

Has it been more than a year since your last pap smear?

Um, well, yes. More like 3, maybe 4. Okay, probably 5. (Not such a good answer, as evidenced by her frown. No points.)

And do you do monthly breast exams?

Well, um, truthfully? No, but I always mean to. Does that count? (Apparently not, indicated by the shake of her head. Subtract points.)

FAIL. Or as the kids are saying nowadays, epic fail. (I am so hip.)

And I don't know when the last time you gave your doc a visit was, but can I just mention that the already less than adequate paper gowns they used to give you are now an even more inadequate, small, paper SHIRT and a piece of paper to throw over your legs?? Because we all love sitting on the cold table knowing what's about to come, but what we really love is doing it with our cold arse hanging out cuz there's no paper to cover it.

I can't imagine why I put 5 years in-between visits.

Have You Ever Noticed . . .

2009-01-07T14:46:00.002-05:00

how much quicker the days of vacation seem to go compared to the days of normal life?

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. Seems like it should be the weekend already.

Boo.

Also, just thought I'd say that I sat on my butt Monday night and watched reality t.v.

Could NOT turn the channel from The Bachelor. I always tell Tor to change the channel if she lands on that show. So stupid, I always say, to watch people who think they're falling in love on a television show.

But I couldn't quit watching when I flipped through the channels and saw the guy from this season. A single dad, rejected by last season's bachelorette evidently and such a seemingly nice guy. So, I thought, oh, I'll just see the girls they're setting him up with.

Yea, two hours later I'm still watching.

Then I watched the show after that was about these 10 exceedingly beautiful people who think they're being chosen to win a prize based on their outer appearance when the judges are really judging them on their inner beauty.

Classic in the making.

I'll never get those 3 hours back and I don't even care.

What is my problem?

Back To Normal-Well, As Normal As It Gets Around Here

2009-01-05T17:17:00.004-05:00

Getting out of bed after a break ~~sucks~~ is really difficult around our home. Even Little One had a hard time this morning. Wanted to sleep and start school tomorrow.
Don't we all?
Oh, wait. No. All the moms are thrilled to get up and pack everyone off to school. We get our day back.
Of course, gotta go back to work tomorrow. I realize I'm supposed to get all kinds of fulfilled because of my job and it's supposed to complete me as a person and all that jazz, because who could be happy JUST being a mom?
But I'm happy "just" being a mom. (That doesn't mean I don't want author stuck in there at some time in the future, however.) But I hate getting up and having to be somewhere on a regular basis. I'd rather not have to work and would prefer to spend my time doing mom things - even though I admit I ~~need improvement~~ stink at most of them. I'm a horrible housekeeper, bad organizer, cook-cuz-I-have-to-in-order-not-to-starve-my-children meal preparer and obsessive homework tutor. But that's what I love to do. And that's what my family's stuck with.
But getting back to that schedule is a little overwhelming after a break. Not that break is really a break around Christmas. Especially this year. I was behind in EVERYTHING. Shopping, wrapping, figuring out what to shop for. I had my first stress moment ever, I think, this year.
Normally, I'm fairly laid back. To be truthful, I've always thought that people that said they were feeling stressed were ~~full of crap~~ exaggerating and a little out of control. However, I had my first little freak out stress moment while shopping this year. I felt a little snap inside my head and wanted to jump over the counter and beat the snot out of the cashier at Forever21, where they have a policy of no returns on sale items. That probably counts, right?
Does that make any sense to anyone? How on earth are you supposed to buy a gift for a ~~nitpicky child~~ TEENAGER if they can't return it.
That started my stress moment. Cuz I'd only spent 2 hours I DID NOT have looking for the right things, which I figured she could return if I mis-guessed her taste. 3/4 of the stuff was on sale, of course.
ANYWAY, that's when I realized stress is a reality. It just takes me a little while longer to get there than some people, I guess.
So I'll keep that moment in mind as I approach the rest of this school year because now that break is over it's back to sports. Yeah!! (Picture me saying yeah just like the lady in the cell phone commercial who's having the party where she didn't get the message that the big scary dinosaur was coming instead of the fluffy little preschool character.)
I've officially filled out the January schedule and Every. Freaking. Weekend. is taken for a sports tournament of some sort.
Like I said, Yeah (again, insert desperation here) and we're just getting back to normal.

New Year, Same Ol' Problems

2009-01-01T13:59:00.004-05:00

I'll just say it once, but it totally sucks that I'm starting the new year off with the same wish to weigh less. It's not new. Only new thing is this year I'll be, yuck, the big 4-0. I can't believe I'm saying that. I'll be 40. Forty. FOR-ty. for-TY. FORTY.

Can you tell I'm not going to like that? I feel a big fat depression coming on if I'm fat AND forty, so therefore, this IS the year I will loose weight.

So if you see me with candy in my hand, beat the crap out of me.

You have my permission.

Solve A Family Dilemma

2008-12-21T20:53:00.003-05:00

OK. Today is Sunday. Christmas is Thursday. How many days til Christmas? 3 or 4???

Really. Leave an answer so I can prove my whole family and Tor's boyfriend completely wrong. Evidently the waitress agreeing with me isn't enough.

Am I Really Back?

2008-12-12T20:32:00.003-05:00

Hopefully. Although at this point I couldn't possibly say for sure. Some things that have kept me busy over the past couple weeks are, thankfully, done. I love this mom business, but, geez, could I catch a small break?
And I'm wondering if it's normal to be jonesing so bad for the internet. I've missed reading other blogs and keeping up with internet "stuff" that I normally do. I feel like a failure because I couldn't keep my life together AND blog about it. How lame is that? We do all realize our parents lived without blogs, right?
So here's a small rundown of a few things that have kept me hoppin':
A much loved relative had a small bump in the road of life, so I moved her to my sofa for a while to try and help out. Nothing like adding another person to the house to keep you on your toes. Especially someone in the midst of chaos.
Put together (with loads of help from hubby) the end of the year volleyball video. Yes, that means hours of watching games I already sat through AND trying not to put too much of my own kid and her best friend in too many clips. NOT as easy as it sounds, trust me.
Along with the video comes getting together with my bff to put together all the decorations for the end of the season banquet. Oh yeah, that means making table centerpieces (building them from nothing, of course), getting trees from my dad's treefarm, wrapping the pots of same trees in black so they look pretty, tying great big silver bows around black so IT looks pretty, and spending the day making a gym look like a reception hall. Easy, right?
Then plan a 9 year old birthday party. Sleepover, of course. Puppy theme. Need I say more?
Not to mention read a book to finish a review. Yes, I'm getting paid to read a book. How SWEET is that? Really, can't think of anything better, except maybe getting paid to read FICTION.
Course I have to actually write the review. Add that to the list.
I don't want to sound like a whiner, so I'll stop there. You get the gist, I'm sure.
Too busy for computers or blogging, but really hating it. After tomorrow morning at 10 when all the squeally little girls are gone, I can put my feet up, enjoy an afternoon of catching up on all the blogs, and remember how busy I was.

Oh, wait, Christmas is coming. Never mind. Guess I'll be shopping instead.

Why The Blog's Been Dark

2008-11-24T16:13:00.003-05:00

Don't ask.
Blog has been dark for over a week because my life has been fairly hellish. More on that later, I suppose.
For now, just a little blurb on what I've missed blogging on:
Tor's trip to Charlotte to look at a college - quite a trip it was!
Book Reviews on the way - I've been reading A LOT, side benefit of sitting in hospital waiting rooms - Color the Sidewalk for Me by Brandilyn Collins, Straight Man by Richard Russo, Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (? think that's her name), Eclipse (3rd in Twilight series) and whatever the name of the second Twilight book was. All good books, btw, so don't read the reviews if you don't want to feel the need to run right to the bookstore.
All that and more - on the way - when I can get my life back together!!
Hopefully sooner than later!

Season's End :(

2008-11-11T22:13:00.005-05:00

Well, the Canes' season ended tonight. Totally sucks, I'm not gonna lie. Puts me in a bad mood.

But here's what sucks more. For years we've played the team we lost to and for even more years we've played with those girls during club season. On the same teams. And until this year, that particular group of girls have never come close to winning against the Canes.

And never once have our girls turned ugly when we beat them, like those girls did. It was so disappointing. Girls that for years I've considered to be sweet friends of Tor's just downright nasty.

Some people can't win with grace, I guess. And it makes the loss just a little more bitter.

And when it's your senior year, you don't get a chance for revenge.

Sucky night. And, for the record girls, no one likes ~~an a**hole~~ a brat, even when they're a winner.

A Normal American Mom's Manifesto

2008-11-07T12:28:00.008-05:00

In light of all the talk in America today, I just can't help but think there really is a way to bring Americans together if everyone could just chill. All over the internet you get the ultra rights saying things like Obama is the Anti-Christ (complete with "Biblical Proof" - oh, okay. Of course these people seem to be the same people that think Jesus spoke King James English) to the other ultra liberal side saying conservatives may as well curl up and die because they've lost the battle and the whole country signs on to the liberal agenda (complete with "Biblical Proof" that Jesus was a liberal - oh, okay. Of course these people seem to be the same people that think Jesus never said anything about morality, only feeding the poor).

Both sides are just wrong. And both sides make us all look stupid, imho.

Here's what I'm longing, nay, begging for. Start over from scratch. All agree on a few basics, a little give and take without throwing over each side's fundamental beliefs. I think this is possible. Take some of the main issues and JUST BE LOGICAL.

So, without further ado, here it is:

A Normal American Mom's Manifesto

Economics

Now, seriously, does anyone in America REALLY believe the American dream is all about being born and having the government give you everything? Can anyone, with a straight face, say that is how our country achieved greatness? I submit no. If you just ask people what they think about stuff without giving it labels, most everyday people think about the same thing. Work hard, draw a paycheck, pay some taxes and most people are okay with the government helping people that really need help, but for the most part, if you can work, get a job. And if you want a better job, get an education and get a better job. Work hard= great pay. And if you ask most people if they think it is alright to take 60% of ANYone's income, they say NO. Can't we just quit with all the "tax the evil rich people" talk? All those evil rich people work hard, build their businesses and then give everyone else their JOBS. You just can't get a job from a POOR person anywhere. It's illogical. And I think everyone can agree that poorer people can get out of large taxes and richer people can pay a little more. That's how it ALREADY is. 86% of all federal taxes are already paid by the top 25% income earners - they already give more than a fair share. But think, if you raise the taxes on the people that already pay most of them and start GIVING their money in forms of imaginary tax breaks to people that PAY NO TAXES, it is STEALING. If individuals can't do something, the government shouldn't be able to do it. Stealing is wrong. Duh. There's nothing to disagree with here so far, right?

Foreign Affairs

Why don't we just agree there are people that hate the freedom America offers and when they, or their good friends, try to kill us, we make their lives difficult by taking the fight to them. Add to that, if someone is wiping out an entire people group, we step in and say stop. First we try to reason - using the entire world to help - then we get a gun. This doesn't establish us as the "world's police" neither does it say we will roll over and let foreigners kill us without retaliation. I realize the simplistic nature of the statements doesn't work for everything, but how about an understanding that sometimes we'll have to fight, sometimes we'll have to negotiate, but don't demonize one point of view over the other and go case by case. Let's all acknowledge Bush did a good thing removing an insidious dictator but he also didn't exactly do everything right while he was there. He's not Satan and he's not the Saviour. He's just a man that did what he thought was right and made a few mistakes. Why must we act like the president of the other party is always evil? The right did it to Clinton, the left did it to Bush, and both times it was stupid. But never has it been more ridiculous than the left's response to all things Bush with regards to the war.

Abortion

This would be the one where you'd think there could never be compromise. You either believe life begins at conception or you don't. However, I think there are some places where almost every American can agree. For instance, if a baby lives outside the womb, we can't kill it. Not many would argue against that. A baby is alive apart from it's mother. Drowning it in a bucket or sticking it in a closet to die is WRONG. Sticking scissors in it's skull to make it possible to remove it from it's mother is WRONG. Very few people would disagree with this. So why fight so hard to say it is ok? I just can't see the opposing point of view on that one. And neither do most other people. Can we come to the middle and say abortion is unnecessary if a child can live outside the womb in light of the millions of couples that want to adopt children?? Why is that unreasonable? Pro-lifers need to make a case for the arguement that life begins at conception within the hearts of the people, until then can't we just agree to not take away the abortion option within the first trimester? I realize it's still taking the life of a child, but if we'll agree to not try and take away the option until the hearts of Americans agree with our point of view, maybe we can stop the death of children that could live outside of the womb. Until then, both sides are polarized and millions of viable children are being killed. And for the pro-choice side, if you REALLY are for CHOICE, then why do you fight so hard against women knowing the medical information about their infants so they can make an INFORMED choice? There really is room to compromise on both sides for the sake of saving some children.

Homosexual Issues

Let's just be straight, not sexually - verbally, I don't care who anyone sleeps with. If someone wants to be homosexual, I do not care. However, quit trying to make me teach MY child that it is okay in the framework of MY home and religious beliefs. Just like a homosexual has the right in America to do what they want, I, as an American, have the religious freedom to believe what I want. And I won't try to tell anyone who they can or can't sleep with. Likewise, quit trying to get in the school system and teach kindergarteners things that have NOTHING to do with education. I want my children to learn to read and write, I don't want anyone giving them their view of tolerance in society. I will teach my children right and wrong, thank you very much. On the other hand, would those against homosexuality please quit teaching that it is the worst sin in the world while ignoring other sins? Quit raising children that want to beat up kids different than they are. Quit raising children that hate. Period. Again, balance, balance, balance.

I would simply like to live the American dream, raise my family, be a good neighbor, practice my faith and exist in harmony in the greatest country in the world. I won't try to force you to believe what I believe. Please return the favor. We can get together and debate the issues, we can put up politicians that agree with us and they can fight it out in elections, you can share your opinion, I can share mine and we can coexist in a world where people don't think exactly the same. It really is okay. You don't have to make my beliefs yours and you don't have to force me to take your beliefs. In some instances it really is okay to agree to disagree. But can't we find some kind of place where we admit each side has SOME level of truth in their arguement and work toward a place where everyone can live?

I think it's doable. If people could just quit being so, well, stubborn and stupid. I mean, is there really anything all that disagreeable in what I just said?

I don't think so.

Maybe I'LL run for president next time.

Ligers And Dinos And Regionals, Oh My!

2008-11-06T09:42:00.006-05:00

After getting my children calmed down after the news of an Obama win (Little One, "I just can't quit thinking about all those babies"), we went on to discuss the fact that it is truly a momentous day in America. I've thought for a LONG time that racism was dying - notice I didn't say nonexistent, just dying - in the US and obviously Tuesday's vote shows the truth of this. Millions of white people have no problem at all voting for a black man. I certainly don't have a problem voting for a black man/woman. I don't see why it should matter what color someone is - doesn't have anything to do with their policies.

Of course, one day it would be nice for people to vote for a black man that they actually share philosophies with. I mean, did you see the interviews where they asked people if they were okay with the views Obama had, but really the view they asked about was a McCain opinion - directly opposed to Obama's beliefs???? Then the interviewees said they completely agreed with that particular policy and were totally fine with Obama feeling that way?

Geez, people. Educate yourself. Get a clue, PLEASE. I have no problem with someone that I disagree with over ISSUES, but I just can't stand to think about how many COMPLETELY STUPID people cast a vote. I respect the difference in point of view, in fact love the difference in point of view - that's why America is the greatest place in the world - however, I just can't stand the dumb factor we have to put up with each election cycle.

New subject.

Tor's team advanced to the next round for regionals. Now we're back to playing our cross town rivals - AGAIN. If the team will finally play like we all know they can, we should be fine.

Should be. Will we be? We'll know Tuesday.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Author Michael Crichton died. Loved Jurassic Park. It's always sad when people die too early. I used to think 66 was old.

Not so much anymore. The older I get, the further that "old" number gets. I'm thinking old is in the 90's somewhere right now.

Did you hear about the animal worker that was killed by a liger (lion/tiger) on Halloween? He went into the animal's area while it was feeding. Did you know there are no laws against owning big cats in Texas and are therefore around 10 big cat attacks on people in Texas per year?

Strange. I got this lion and wow, it's getting big. What do I do with it now that it wants to eat me?

Random Thoughts On Election Day

2008-11-04T14:51:00.006-05:00

On this great day when we, as Americans, go to the polls and cast our votes, I have a couple of things on my mind.

Just one little side story that shows how irritating it can be to live in our county. Here's what I get for being a Republican from the clearly Democratic woman signing me in to vote. I didn't sign my name the EXACT same way it was on my license (who does?) so I got to go wait in yet ANOTHER line to get a chance to cast my vote. Did I have all my voter's registration cards? Yes. Did I have plenty of forms of I.D. to prove I was me? Yes. Did my address match my license, her book, my voter card and every other form of identification in my purse? Check yes on that one, too. Who cares? Go stand in another line. And, btw, suspiciously, other people that looked a LOT like me got sent from her line to stand with me, but coincidentally, other people that looked a LOT like her got to go right on over and vote. Yeah, we really care that EVERYONE has a smooth voting experience. It was RIDICULOUS. But I got one over on her, it didn't make me stomp my feet and decide not to vote. So there.

I've clearly done quite the job teaching my children the importance of paying attention to the world around them. Middle One is more interested in watching news channels than football and soccer lately. He's one of the only right leaning kids in his 8th grade classes, so I feel sure the reason he's wanting to watch is to load up with more ammo for class discussions, but hey, whatever it takes. I'm glad he's interested and wants to be an informed thinker.

Little One is taking the more distraught approach, of course. Last night she started crying, "If Obama wins our lives will be ruined!!! He's gonna make it where more babies die and then he's gonna tax us all and give our money to lazy hobos!"

Well, it's a little more complicated than that, however, interesting that when you boil it all down, that's not a bad summary for an 8 year old. I then, very calmly, explained to her that no matter who wins, God is in control and we'll probably all be just fine. I'll remind myself of that when I wake up in the morning to the Obama presidency.

I assigned the kids in my creative writing class today to write a story taking place 100 years from now. One kid's was about the Obama kingdom that began in 2008 when Obama won the presidency and made America into his kingdom.

Funny stuff.

Until you look at some of his policies and see he'd probably be just fine with that.

Well, if you haven't voted - get going. And if you're not going to vote - shame on you and you don't get to complain later.

And I'm pretty sure there's going to be plenty of that happening the next couple of years.

More Sports Crap Than I Can Handle

2008-10-29T13:45:00.003-04:00

Still in the middle of District Championships. Made it through the first round. Whew. I was wondering if we'd make it past Lake Weir.

Not.

Today Tor's team plays Columbia and then tomorrow we're back to the big one against Eastside. This time to win, I'm sure :)

Wait. There's more. We also get Middle One at soccer every day this week, right in the middle of when I need to be at volleyball.

Oh, then there's Little One and her championship playoffs. WHOLE NEW DRAMA there.

Goes something like this. There's been a team playing in the 3/4 grade division that clearly had 5/6th graders on it. Well, I never understood why, but figured there was some sort of reason. Well, after we lost to those girls last night, Hubby just went up to the director and asked for an explanation as to why they were playing in our age group. Not hostile or anything, just wanted to explain to Little One why they were allowed to have older girls.

"Oh, there's no 5th or 6th graders on their team. Someone else said that last week, so I emailed and asked and they said there aren't any."

Newsflash. They're from the school I WORK at, so I knew for a fact there were at least 5th graders. So Hubby says, "Uh, I hate to tell you, but my wife works there and knows for a fact some of those girls are not 3/4th graders."

Well, long story short, they were disqualified and we move on. Great for the girls, not so great for the momma. But that's how it goes.

On the other hand, I had to sit around and listen to people talk about how shocked they were that someone from a Christian school would lie in 3/4th grade sports.

Uh, yeah, that wasn't irritating at ALL.

That Pesky Constitution!

2008-10-27T10:22:00.002-04:00

Are we really about to elect someone who believes the constitution is a flaw that must be avoided?

Oh, I think we ARE. What flaw is that? Oh, freedom to work hard and make a living. Those crazy founders thinking America should be a place where hard work would take us where we need to be.

Unbelievable.

Posting On Saturday Or Avoiding Writing Even Though I Really Can't Afford To

2008-10-25T21:45:00.003-04:00

I'm sitting at the computer blogging instead of writing. Really, really stupid. I rarely have a moment to work lately. Do you realize how much time children take in the middle of the fall? Ridiculous. Tor's senior year (I don't like saying it, much less typing it. It means this is her LAST year. Oh, and BTW, High School Musical is all about their senior year and going away and leaving their home. First the country music - now all the movies. Will the getting teary at everything ever end?) is taking up a ton of time. More than just the regular. Senior this, senior that. Get this, get that.

Allow me one moment for a whine session. This week alone will be a total rat race. Three nights of the week each child has to be at 3 different places, doing 3 different things ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

Isn't that exciting?

And it's all important. District championships for Tor, championship playoffs for Little One, and the last 3 practices before the last game of Middle One's season until Spring.

Yeah, okay. Wish me luck.

Okay. I feel better. Back to the book!

Opening Day Has Come And Gone

2008-10-24T23:19:00.003-04:00

If you have a pre-teen or elementary aged little girl, of course you know today was the opening of High School Musical #3. How could you not? It's been written on Little One's calendar for weeks. And a theater full of screaming, giggling little girls confirms that my house wasn't the only house waiting anxiously. Hubby had to stand in line 30 minutes (at 10:30 am) to get tickets for the 2:45 showing - hehe. SORRY!
The rain put our usual ~~longest day of the year~~ Gator Homecoming Parade attendance on the back burner. Mostly because the moms are the ones that decide what lunch food to bring and sit on the side of the road for hours like the ~~idiots~~ perfect tradition makers that we are (big back pat to the moms, woot-woot) and we decided that sitting on our butts for hours while it poured on us was maybe, just maybe, not the best way to spend our day. I digress.
Save the day from eternal ruin High School Musical.
~~Boy, are little girls suckers for distraction techniques.~~ Worked like a charm. Nothing beats a third installment of Troy and Gabrielle. And, gasp, it was pretty good. I mean, as good as that kind of thing's gonna get. Of course, Gabrielle is still cheesy and irritating, but she has been since the first one. I wonder who she, um, knew to get that part? Definitely didn't get it on skill alone. I'm just saying.
Anyway, a fun day was had by all and I'm not gonna lie, Zack Efron and Corbin Bleu are easy on the eyes. So there's a little something in it for everyone.

Solomon Summaries - You're Gonna Love This!

2008-10-23T14:47:00.002-04:00

Okay, for all you people out there that say things to me like, "Wow, I wish I had enough time to read" or "I don't know how you read all those books, I just don't have that kind of time," besides me wanting to tell you quit whining and make reading a priority and you, too, will find yourself reading and driving, have I got just the thing for you! (Do you realize that was one sentence?)
Let me introduce you to my new bodacious writing bud, Heather's new business, Solomon Summaries (don't want to forget her hubby, Chris). This service is basically Cliffnotes for Christian books. It's having someone else that has read the book glean the wisdom and jewels from the book and write an eight page summary for you. You no longer have to just hear others talking about all the newest Christian theology and your list grows longer and longer and you know you'll NEVER be able to get them all read. Now you can get the meat of the book and save time doing it. Also, you can sift through all the books making it easier to decide WHICH books you really want to invest the time in really reading for yourself.
I think it's awesome.
And just so you can get to know them a little better, I offer this small info-interview for your reading pleasure:

Tell me a little bit about your background and your family.
Chris–I have a strong background as an entrepreneur and business executive along with a passion for ministry and missions. I’ve served on the regional board for Young Life and the steering committee for Come Glorify Jesus a citywide prayer event in Dallas, Texas and currently spend much of my time thinking about the intersection of the Internet and ministry.
Heather–I began reading from the womb. Close to it, at least. When I was three, I memorized my favorite book (Raggedy Ann and Andy’s Please and Thank You book), even knowing when to look at which page. My mom told friends I could read. (She told them the truth after they oohed and ahwed.)
I’m passionate about books, music, art, and theology, particularly when they go together. My undergrad’s in music, and my master’s in theology. I write and teach (and read in between).

Tell me about your relationship with reading over your life. How have books shaped you? Any one in particular?
LOL. We probably could not have two more polar answers to this question. I (Heather) love reading and engaging with the stories of life and meaning. In fact, I relish long lines at the grocery store, post office, and red lights when I can whip out a book and catch a few more paragraphs. Some of my closest friends are characters in books–Anne of Green Gables and Jo March, for example. I learn and understand Truth (i.e. ideas such as sacrifice, redemption, love, faith, humanity, corruption, creativity) through stories. Some of my favorites include Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler, Nobody’s Fool by Richard Russo, The Living End by Lisa Samson, and The Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.
There have been some key theological books as well that have resonated with me and challenged me to think in a different way, such as The Character of Theology by John Franke, Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright, and currently The Beauty of God, a collection of essays about art and Christianity from a conference in Wheaton.
I (Chris) see reading as a bridge that unfortunately has to be crossed to assess the wisdom I seeks – I love to learn but hate to read (he says with an antagonistic smile). I’ve been strongly influenced by books like Good To Great by Jim Collins, 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Trout and Reese in addition to Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson and Choose the Life by Bill Hull. Choose the Life has been a joyful, painful experience that challenges me to ponder living in submission to Christ daily and authentically.
We have one thing in common–the books we pile around the house, Chris because he wants to learn as much as possible, and Heather because she can’t be in a room without a book.

What inspired you to begin a business like this? Why did you want to start it?
I (Chris) found a growing chasm between the amount of books I want to absorb and the amount of time available to read them (not so much due to time shrinking, but because there are so many amazing books). In the business world, I had access to executive book summary services for years to glean the latest business wisdom and I dreamed of something similar for Christian books.
I (Heather) am passionate about all things books. I love the idea of raising awareness of what’s out there.
In a culture that has adopted “I’m busy” as a standard response to the question “how are you?”, there seems to be an interesting opportunity to engage people in bite size chunks with the key points from a book on Christian living. Hopefully, this will help readers triage which books they want to look at further. Also, we want to help lay leaders choose good materials and resources for Sunday school classes, small groups, mentoring relationships, and leadership training and help pastors stay in touch with what’s out there and what their congregations are reading.

What is your vision for Solomon Summaries?
Well that is an interesting question. As future-thinking people, we have great interest in seeing Solomon Summaries become a platform for engagement and growth. Based on the initial reaction and how passionately people share the idea with their friends (and we’re hoping people will be very excited and share it with lots of friends), we are in discussion on a number of additional pieces of the puzzle (what Chris calls the blueprint) to offer value to book readers and small group book discussions. We’d also like to get the authors of the books more involved in the discussion. We’ll be paying close attention to subscribers and their interests and ultimately it will grow into what people want and need to help them in their lives.

And now you can see why Heather and I hit it off so swimmingly at the conference last month. We really are reading junkies, theology junkies and a little bit weird - in a good way, of course.
So, go take a look around Solomon Summaries website. Go! Take a look and tell them I sent you!!

Yet Another Reason To Like Orson Scott Card

2008-10-22T14:03:00.005-04:00

Honesty.

You've Really got to read this.

Finally, a Democrat willing to say something about their own party and their unholy alliance with the mainstream media.

Wish everyone would read it.

Is It Okay To Pray . . .

2008-10-22T07:45:00.003-04:00

about sports games?? If it is, then say a little one for Tor tonight as she is playing another cross town rival on SENIOR night. And evidently, practice yesterday was, how shall we say this, a big pile of crap.

What kind of great idea is that? Hard game on senior night??

Whatever.

What? A Christian That Doesn't Hate Halloween??

2008-10-21T17:57:00.003-04:00

Gotta go check out this little piece on Christians and Halloween.
Go read and then come back.

Go.

I think it's brilliant and it pretty much sums up my ideas on Halloween and can also be applied to things like Harry Potter and other things imaginary.

I wonder if this is why I don't totally fit in at work???

I just don't believe this idea that we, as Christians, are supposed to be the voice of panic to the world that Satan is so powerful that even allowing our kids to use their imaginations or, God forbid, go door to door for candy, is giving him a huge foothold in our lives.

Of course, my mom allowed me to watch Bewitched as a child, so I'm probably just ruined forever. Got that Satanic influence all over me. Ever since I was 5 I've been going around trying to be a witch cuz since the day I realized all I had to do was twitch my little nose to get what I wanted, I've been overcome with a desire to worship the all powerful evil being that makes such delightful magic possible.

Thanks a lot, Mom. Now I'll never understand God. Geez.

Book Review: Homebody by Orson Scott Card

2008-10-19T23:40:00.003-04:00

I'm not gonna lie, I'm just on a roll lately. Haven't read something I didn't absolutely LOVE in quite some time.

On top of that, I've now found a new favorite to add to the list. Of course, he hasn't quite taken ove the spot in my heart that Stephen and Dean fill up, but he's wiggling in to fight for space with just ONE book.

When I picked up Homebody, it was just the only Orson Scott Card book at the library. The recommended book was Ender's Game, but since it wasn't there, I grabbed the only one on the shelf. I didn't even read the jacket cover, so I had no idea what kind of book it was, just that the person recommending Card said he was a great writer.

So, as I was reading I sort of thought at the beginning it was some kind of subtle love story. Imagine my wonder and surprise as it turned into a haunted house/ghost story! Yeah for me!

Don Lark, a widower that has lost his only child, is a builder that spends his lonely years restoring old houses to their former beauty. In a lot of ways, he's hiding from the world because he just travels from house to house, building and flipping houses, but avoiding contact with real life. Until he finds the beautiful Bellamy house - complete with quirky neighbors (who completely make the book all on their own) and a squatter that's been living in the house for the last 10 years.

It was such a great story that even 1/2 way into it, I had no idea it was a ghost story. Had no idea and didn't care. I already loved the characters enough that I didn't care what KIND of book it was because it was just a great story.

In a couple of places, it felt like maybe he was trying too hard to make a point - like maybe he was getting off track from the story and about to go on to some philisophical place on life and humanity - but it was only momentary and never went too far. I never got derailed from the story.

The ending was, okay, a little bit of a stretch, but it is a ghost story. And it was a SATISFYING stretch. And for those of you that aren't crazy about all the scary type stories, this is perfect for you because it wasn't scary or creepy. It was just a good story about a really nice guy that happens to rebuild a haunted house. Don't want to say anymore cuz I don't want to give away any of the twists.

I WILL be getting more Orson Scott Card at the library! I'll even buy him if I can't get him at the library. You KNOW it's good if I'll put money down on it!

Abraham's Unwritten Days

2008-10-17T14:28:00.003-04:00

Do you ever wonder what happened in the inbetween days? You know, the days that didn't actually get written about? There were years, sometimes decades, in between big events. Like, God said Abraham would have a child. One kid with a maid and lots of years later, here comes Isaac. Then poor Joseph dreams he's going to be a ruler, one brother rebellion (nasty times) and many years in prison later, there he is the second in command in Egypt. All the great men and women in the Bible - in between the years we read about are the years they just lived.

And you have to assume they really just lived. They got up, worked, ate, slept, went to the bathroom (a grosser prospect back then, for sure), got mad, sang, danced, loved God, doubted God, got angry at God, wondered if God was really there . . . all the same stuff we do. Nothing huge, just life.

I don't even really know that there's a point, I just got to thinking about how we surely must have our moments with God that are recordable as the big moments we did GREAT and the big moments we REALLY crapped it up - much like their recorded moments. (The Bible definitely doesn't cover up any of their big screw ups, right?) But do you ever feel like your really big moments with God were so long ago that it's time to have something more, I don't know, memorable? Sometimes the inbetween days feel a little mundane.

Maybe it's right after the little rough patches, which Hubby and I are definitely experiencing in more ways than one right now - I don't mean maritally, btw, I mean with other things and finances (BIG time) and stress with kids (not bad, just normal every day stuff, ya know, like having to be three places at once), where the most opportunity for the big God moments to happen exists. I sure hope so.

Cuz that means it's about time. And I'm ready. After the craptacular week I'm having, I'm waiting. Which really just brings up another question. Are you supposed to just wait on it? Or try to make it happen?

Gotta be the waiting.

I suck at waiting.

Don't Get Me Started

2008-10-16T13:15:00.003-04:00

Cuz the rants are a-comin' fast. I know that the church is God's designed way of getting stuff done on Earth and actually love the idea because it makes us part of what He's doing in the world. And I just love that idea, don't you?

But, really? Must we be so doggone ridiculous with one another? Seriously? Hubby is dealing with flat out stupidity today. Instead of figuring out how to reach young people, he's doing stupid stuff. Because of people talking about stuff they have no idea about. Really, how many people from our church have ever taken the time to ask me about our lives? Not as many as you'd think. So, if you don't know about it, don't go flapping your gums about it. That's all I'm saying. You can not like me if you want, but if you don't know about something, don't talk about it.

And REALLY don't come after my kids.

Really. You. Don't. Want. To. Go. There.

I feel better.

I'm done.

P.S. I still love God's idea. Church rocks.

Volleyball Blah, Blah, Blah

2008-10-14T17:17:00.003-04:00

UPDATE: Tor lost a big match tonight so leave her a few words of encouragement. It was a rough loss.

We're off to the gym for a cross-town rival game.

Go Canes!!!

Volleyball drama aside, I really hope we kick Ram butt. The girls need a pick me up after this past weekend.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Book Review: The Almost True Story Of Ryan Fisher

2008-10-13T23:24:00.003-04:00

Oh My! What a wild ride this book was. Now, I don't know that the depth of humor can be truly relished and appreciated by someone who isn't all up in the church world, but I was laughing my, um, butt off for most of this book - when I wasn't shaking my head wishing there wasn't so much truth in it.

Basically, it's about a non-Christian guy who decides to take out an add in a Christian directory to help his tanking real estate business. In order to sharpen up his newly found "Christian" image he, of course, must go to church. Where he gets NOTHING. It's like he's living in a foreign country learning a foreign language.

However, being the great salesman that he is (he can sell ice to an Eskimo), he fakes it and then decides that not only can he pretend to be a great Christian realtor, but heck, he could run a mega church himself. Why be bothered by things like the Bible and Jesus? He's just gonna do church Oprah style. So he picks up his wife and life, and moves to a small town to build a big church.

And it works. And the rest is a satirical - but honest - look at the church and what people are looking for in a church.

The characters are flawed and refreshing. The writing is spot on and if you liked My Name Is Russel Fink, you're gonna love this book.

What? I haven't reviewed Russel yet? What is my problem? Clearly that's on my short list of things to do - cuz you're gonna love that one, too. It has a clairvoyant Basset Hound with a drinking problem. How can you not love that?

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

2008-10-09T07:52:00.003-04:00

Middle One did a political cartoon for one of his classes this week. It was actually quite well done. It was on Obama's stance on the Born-Alive Infant Protection Act.

Anyway, Little One was in the back of the car and started asking questions. I explained to her what an abortion was (which no one really ever wants to explain to their 8 year old) and I delicately told her about the act which was intended to protect the lives of the children that "accidently" survive an abortion.

I didn't expect quite the reaction I got.

She cried for 45 minutes. She was. Horrified. Disgusted. Ashamed of humanity. She ranted and raved about how if people didn't want babies they shouldn't have sex (what a novel idea) and then she got angry, really angry, that anyone would NOT want their child. "Don't they know how joyful it is to watch a baby take their first steps or go to preschool for the first day??!" She went on and on. Crying and screaming.

She asked me why I it didn't make me cry. And I had to tell her because I was used to the idea.

Then I did cry.

My Art Students Rock!

2008-10-08T14:08:00.003-04:00

I'm just going to do a little bragging on my art students for a minute. Their first art projects are due this Friday and from the looks of what I've seen so far, I'm going to be handing out some super large 'A's' for all of them.
I LOVE this! It's so awesome to watch them turn into little super-artists. Some of them, back at the beginning of the 9 weeks, you could tell had a little flair before they got to me, but some of them had CLEARLY never picked up a pencil to draw. Math - yes, grammar - yes, art? - NO.
But now they are little pros.
I'm so proud. Can't wait til I pick the projects up at the school to grade them. I'm missing the due date cuz I won't be at work that day, so I'll actually bring them home with me. Usually, I grade on the spot and let them take them home. This time, they're turing them in and I get to bring them home and show them to my family and brag about how I've taught them everything they know :)

And Then There's This

2008-10-03T14:46:00.006-04:00

Anyone that loves Tor will want to click here for a little fun.

Come back and tell me what a great job I've done parenting! Seriously, click over now, read the article and then come back and marvel over how terrific she is (and if you happen to mention my great parenting skills, I won't blame you). If you've never left a comment (as in, most of you), then now's the time to at least tell her she rocks!!!

How much fun is that??? And, really, doesn't she look tough in that pic? Admit it, you're a little scared of her right now.

Christ Of St. John Of The Cross

2008-10-03T13:08:00.005-04:00

My friend, Heather, is having a blog art festival, Artuality, about how paintings affect you. Which puts me in a really sticky place, blogging about it myself, I mean.

I've never really been one to be emotionally moved by art. I know this seems weird, what with me being an artist.

I know. I'm a dork. But you probably already knew that.

I'm much more moved by the words of a song or a ballet or a play. And after thinking on this for a while, I think I figured out why.

I'm moved by things I can't do myself. For instance, when someone writes a song that has the perfect melody with words that say just the same thing my heart says, I'm moved to tears. (Especially nowadays when I hear those sad, sad songs about children moving on and growing up.) I've never been able to write music and it floors me that people can come up with new melodies put to new words. But when it comes to paintings and drawings I'm much more inclined to think of what I would've done differently. Ya know, critique it.

Not that I'm saying I'm a Rembrant or a DaVinci, they worked harder at their art than I would ever dream. Really. I'm a very lazy person. However, I know the basics of how they did it. I look at a painting with the eye of an artist. I always know how they did something or why they did something.

That's not to say I don't appreciate the beauty of it. I always do. (Well, if it's beautiful. I'm still never going to call a giant red circle on a white canvas beautiful art. Just. Can't. Do. It.) I can always acknowledge how beautiful something is, I'm just not generally emotionally moved by it.

Except for when I stood in front of this painting, Christ of St. John of the Cross.

First off, you need to understand this painting is HUGE. Like, wall sized. And when I stood in front of it, I was absolutely moved to tears. It's the first and only time that's ever happened.

It's spectacular and although art critics at the time he painted it called it banal, I have a hard time believing anyone else that's stood in it's shadow shares that opinion. Dali himself said that he saw the image for the painting in a dream and calls it the culmination of all his previous work.

You can see why. It's unbelievably powerful. I can believe he dreamed it straight from the mind of God.

So, although I'm way more likely to get emotional over a perfectly crafted song - or story, but I figured that goes without saying - I have stood in front of a painting and wept over it's beauty.

One time.

I know. I'm such a dork.

You Might Just Want To Stay Away

2008-10-02T17:10:00.003-04:00

Because the barfing is back. This time it's Little One. It was a little pathetic, actually. She said, "Why, oh why, does it have to be me, of all the people in the world?"

I don't know where that kind of drama comes from.

Not me.

Of all the mothers in the world, why does it have to be me with one sick on a day that I had signed up to help take tickets at the volleyball game and then watch Tor kick a little volleyball butt? Why me? Haven't I had enough sickness in my house in the last month?

And I think I have a new problem. Last time Middle One was sick (yes, just 2 weeks ago, thank you very much) and seeing him lose his cookies made me feel a little nauseaus. Well, sure enough the next day I was sick, too. I didn't think that much about it. I thought, at first, that seeing him (and smelling) made me feel a little queasy but then when I got sick I figured that's just when I started getting sick myself.

Rut-roh. Today, while holding Little One's hair out of the way, I started to feel sick.

Moms can NOT get queasy when their children throw-up. It's just not, I don't know, maternal. I'm starting to think that my mothering skills are going downhill because I SERIOUSLY felt like I was going to lose it when I was standing there with her. It's an hour later and I still feel a little gross, to tell the truth.

I thought I was supposed to get better with age. I've NEVER had a problem tending to sick kids. I've always had an iron stomach (except when pregnant - totally different story then). As a matter of fact, used to be if I felt nauseaus, I'd just assume I was pregnant.

Evidently not so much anymore.

Great.

And everyone's been sick lately (even Hubby's been a little under the weather - though he'd be hard pressed to admit it to anyone), except Tor, and we all know she won't get sick because of her ~~obsessive compulsive~~ strict hand washing policy. We all make fun of her for being ~~anal~~ so thorough about cleanliness, but meanwhile she never gets the bugs that make the rounds with everyone else.

Good thing, too, cuz she still thinks I'm a good Mom since I haven't gotten sick holding her hair out of her face.

Seems Like I'd Have Something To Say

2008-09-29T14:20:00.003-04:00

When days breeze by and I'm writing up a storm, it's then I realize the real reason I haven't blogged is I don't have anything to say because I've totally ignored my family and responsibilities. I skipped life this weekend to write because I REALLY want to get my book done and so there's nothing exciting to say except anyone know a good maid????

However, I did make it to Tor's Saturday game (why Saturday I ask?? I missed my sweet nephew's bday party cuz of that!) with a cross town rival. Another astounding win by her terrific team, I might add. Of course, I'm biased. And can I also add that not only were they playing the six girls on the other side of the court, but the refs. Now, I know that people often complain about refs, I'm often spouting off about a bad call now and then, but for the most part it seems to come out even in the end. But this was by far the MOST OUTRAGEOUS display of bad ref-ing I've EVER seen. If bad ref-ing was art, I've just been priviledged to see the equivalent of Michaelangelo ref-ing. It was truly a wonder to behold. Needless to say, I did a little screaming. Even worse than Hubby, I confess.

And, I skipped church, *gasp*, to work a little - never done that before. It was a little weird to tell the truth. But the cool thing is while I was at home I just couldn't quit thinking about a friend so I had to stop and pray for her so I could get it off my mind. I dropped her a note and based on her response, God was cooking up prayer for her on purpose.

Isn't the Body of Christ a cool and spectacular thing??? So, I determine that maybe I was home for a little more than getting some work done. Gotta love when God does something out of the ordinary.

Now, I'm back to work cuz, like I said, I don't have a lot to say!

Go Canes!

2008-09-25T23:04:00.003-04:00

I'm not gonna lie, we were kicking some volleyball butt tonight! And, I've gotta tell you, it felt nice to win.
We actually love some of the girls on the Eastside team, been playing club ball with them for years, but it's still a really sweet win. Cross town rivalries are fun games, made all the more fun when you BRING it!
And the GHS volleyball fans are a RIOT to watch. Sometimes I just wince and say, oh those wacky kids are being mean, but usually I'm laughing my hind quarters off. And who doesn't love a kid that shows up dressed like a blind referee, a banana, or a hurricane caped wonder??
Tor played like a beast and so did her bff. Shoot, they all played like beasts!
Go Canes!!!!!
Did I mention it feels GOOD???