If there's anything I'm a pro at in life, it's NOT losing weight. I'm the best NOT loser in the crowd. So this month when I started weighing in with my sister AND signed up to do First Place at church I thought that ought to do it. I'll go from not loser to loser.
Yeah, not so much.
I think my body likes to stick right where it is no matter what I do to it or put in it. I'm exercising like crazy - swimming or biking five days a week - and saying no to sweets (well, usually) and trying to watch the old portion control and eat lots of fruits and veggies.
My body does not care. Last week I lost one pound.
Gee, that's swell. I can fluctuate one pound per week without doing anything.
It's extremely frustrating.
At the beginning of the year, I said I wasn't going to be fat and forty. Then my fortieth birthday came and went and my fat stayed.
SO I guess I am going to officially give up. I'm going to exercise because it's good for me and I'll watch what I eat because I don't want to gain even more weight I can't get rid of. But I give up trying to actually be thin. I just can't keep wishing for it any more. It's too irritating.
I'm just going to try and learn to be happy with myself the way I am and if I make progress then fine, but I'm not going to expect it any more.
Maybe if I can be happy where I am, I'll trick my body into losing weight because it'll think I DON'T want to lose weight. It seems to like doing the exact opposite of what I want.
1 comments:
Sounds like you are having a cruddy day! Keep up the good work - you are gorgeous inside and out.
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